


As Time Goes By

by inner_tempest



Category: The Halcyon (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-01-01 04:29:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18328631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inner_tempest/pseuds/inner_tempest
Summary: A look through the decades inspired by thisTWEETfrom Sarah Dollard.Starting in the 1940s and going decade by decade.I'm having a ton of fun with this one.  I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I am! :PSzonKlin is a miracle worker.  I couldn't do it without her.And as usual, boys are not mine.  Sadface.





	1. INTRO

**Author's Note:**

> A brief intro before we dive in.

Time had been kind to Toby and Adil…not just as a gay couple, but with race and class, and everything else that had plagued them when they had first gotten together. The world had changed, just as they always hoped it would. Now, into their nineties, the two had a life they could never have imagined. After homosexuality was decriminalized in 1967, Toby and Adil had opened up with their twenty-seven year relationship. It had ruffled a few feathers, but they didn’t care.

They had built a life together, the life they had always wanted. And their love was as fierce in 2013 as it had been in 1940. Toby and Adil had always known they were fated to be together forever. Their life couldn’t possibly be more beautiful.

In 2005, the two had applied for a civil partnership. At their age, they weren’t sure they’d make it to an actually marriage, but of course, with everything they had been through, they would take what they could get.

But perhaps Toby and Adil had underestimated, which is what found them in the den of their small London flat, watching the TV on the edge of their seats. The announcement was due soon…the ruling on gay marriage. It was the one thing they had always wanted, though into their nineties, were pretty sure they would never get.

The two had been lucky, though.

The two men were side by side on the sofa, wrinkled hands gripped tightly, neither wanting to say anything, breaths held.

“…making gay marriage in the UK legal…”

One could hear a pin drop. Toby and Adil looked at each other, tears swimming in both of their eyes.

“We can get married,” Toby finally said softly.

“We can get married,” Adil repeated.

They had thought it would never happen. That their civil partnership was the closest they would get and they had to be grateful for that much, at least. Of course, they knew there would be time before the marriage bill officially went into effect, but they were sure they’d make this one. They made all the others.

The two men shared a sweet kiss, tears falling from both of their eyes.

“I knew it would happen in our lifetime,” Toby said serenely. Adil chuckled. He loved how his lover was ever the dreamer.

“Of course you did. You headed up the revolution.”

“ _We_ headed up the revolution. I couldn’t have done any of it if you weren’t by my side.”

The two men went silent again as they watched the television, only half processing the news report with the feelings of sheer elation. There were rainbows and people cheering, but there was absolutely nothing like what Toby and Adil were feeling together, just the two of them in their little flat. Like they had been for over seventy years.

They shared another sweet kiss. Some things had definitely never changed through the years, even as the world evolved around them. Every kiss shared was just as electric, just as full of promises as kisses were when they were young and invincible. There had been plenty of hardships over the years, plenty of scares and danger, but Adil and Toby had made it through. And now they could get married…what they had dreamed about since they found each other 73 years ago.

Toby and Adil both knew they were the lucky ones. They had outlived just about everyone they had known in their lives. They had seen friends and loved ones succumb to old age, to AIDS, to sickness. They had seen friends beaten to a pulp in the street because of what they were…of course, Toby had gone through that too…Adil still wanted to cry when he thought about it, no matter how long ago it was. Seeing Toby in the hospital after he had been attacked was not a image he could ever forget.

But Toby had made it. Adil had made it. And now, here they were, ninety-five, and finally able to be _married_.

“We should go apply for a license straight away,” Toby said, eyes still on Adil. “It’ll still take some time, and we don’t have the time to lose.”

“Of course,” Adil said with a smile. “I think the courthouse is closed by now…we’ll go tomorrow.”

“First thing in the morning.”

Adil couldn’t help but chuckle. There were some things about Toby that were _never_ going to change. And seeing that boyish sparkle in his lover’s eyes, Adil knew he didn’t give a damn…and never would.

“Yes, Toby. First thing in the morning.”

The news was still playing on the TV, but both men were so far away. Thinking again about everything they had been through together. Seven decades, so much fighting and working towards a better future for people like them. Working so future generations would never have to face the things that Toby and Adil had had to.

They had done it. They had reached that point.

“We should pull out the albums.”

Adil looked over and smiled at Toby. “I’d say it seems like an appropriate time to do so.”

Toby and Adil had decided in the early forties to document their lives. They wanted to have it, not just for them, but for the future, all the stories and pictures and lives and experiences of a secret gay couple. The albums were filled with all of it, pictures Toby and Adil thought were pertinent, some even of themselves, newspaper clippings pertaining to gay men and the experience, and many, many journal entries from the two of them.

Originally, the albums had started out as unorganized papers and pictures in old cigar boxes, but at a certain point, the two men had decided they needed to make things organized and coherent. They had started scrapbooking in the 50s, putting everything neatly together in albums and keeping them neatly filed in the study. The albums had grown to many in numbers, each and every one with both Adil and Toby’s special flare.

There was a time they had people to share the albums with, and they did. Freddie and Emma, friends they had had throughout the years…they had even shared parts of them with the LGBTQ youth they worked with over the years. Showing the youth… _promising_ the youth a better world. They had the proof. It was invaluable, and Adil and Toby would always be grateful they had the idea.

The whole affair was slightly harder these days. There were only a couple steps to the study, but Toby’s arthritis had gotten very severe and he relied heavenly on Adil when they took the steps. The albums had been moved to lower shelves, as neither man could reach too high by now. And of course, pulling out the heavy albums at all was a process, so neither man injured himself doing so.

Adil was about to go for the first album labeled _1942-1946_ , but Toby put a hand on his arm. “First things first…” he pulled out their current album, setting it on his desk and flipping to the first empty page. He took a pen from his drawer and wrote, in the middle of the page:

__

_Gay marriage passed, July 2013_


	2. 1940s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “1941 is going to be a great year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we begin.
> 
> This one kind of got away from me...I have a feeling that's going to happen a lot with this story. XD
> 
> SzonKlin is the magician behind any of this being possible.
> 
> None of these wonders belong to me. I just play with them.

December 1940 may have been the hardest month for Toby and Adil so far, but they managed it together. There was a lot of talking, of forgiveness, of faith that they had a future together. Because, even after everything that happened, both men knew there was no one else they could ever share forever with.

Toby had cried off New Years with his family to spend it with Adil in his flat, saying he was with friends. Shortly after Adil’s suicide attempt, Adil had found a new room. The ghosts in the old one were too much for both him and Toby. They both liked the new place, and Toby spent as much time there as he could. Even being at the Halcyon was hard at times.

Adil had managed the night off by saying he was visiting family. He had worked Christmas, so it worked out for him anyway.

Drinking right from a bottle of champagne, Toby and Adil sat on the floor in just their trousers, their backs against Adil’s bed.

“1941 is going to be a great year,” Toby said, nuzzling Adil’s neck. “Much better than 1940. I just know it.”

With a chuckle, Adil took a sip of champagne. “1940 wasn’t all _that_ bad. It was the year we got together.”

“Yes, but we got together towards the end,” Toby said, as if it made a bit of difference. “1941 is going to be our year. By which I mean…the first of many of our years.”

Adil laughed as Toby took the champagne bottle. He looked at him fondly, just taking the moment to really _look_ at his lover. The slight fringe of hair that fell over his eye. And those eyes…so perfectly hazel. The freckles on his face that covered all of his body. Those things that Adil never really took the time to just notice. But he was glad he was. Toby Hamilton was gorgeous. And after everything…he was all Adil’s.

“Adil?”

Adil realized he hadn’t been paying attention. “Sorry. Just taking a moment to really look at you,” he laughed.

Toby gave his toothy grin. “Of course. I’m beautiful.”

“Oh shut it,” Adil grabbed the champagne back and took a swig. “You’ve just been drinking too much.”

“I have another bottle for _after_ midnight…”

“Mmmm…” Adil kissed Toby lightly. “I thought it was just sex after midnight.”

Toby pulled Adil onto his lap and took back the bottle of champagne. “Champagne and sex, yes.”

“Sounds like what the entire night has been,” Adil teased.

Toby laughed, holding up the bottle of champagne. “To the new year! What time is it?”

Adil glanced at the clock on his bedside table. “Eleven thirty-eight.”

“Oh, we’re very close, then.”

Setting the bottle down, Toby pulled Adil in for a deep, slow kiss, letting his tongue run along his lover’s bottom lip and his hands explore his bare chest. He pulled back just long enough to stand, pulling Adil onto the bed. Adil let out a soft moan as Toby ground against him, wrapping his arms around Toby’s neck and kissing him languidly again as they made to get each other’s trousers off.

“I love you,” Adil gasped as Toby stripped him bare before doing the same for himself, grasping their cocks together. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Toby replied, nuzzling at Adil’s neck. “More than anything. You’re my world, Adil Joshi.”

The two just touched and kissed as if they had all the time in the world. And as far as they were concerned, they did. When the nearby church bells rang midnight, Toby and Adil both pulled back, wide smiles on their faces.

“Happy New Year, Toby.”

“Happy New Year, Adil.”

1940 had been quite a year for them, both individually and as a couple. It had had plenty of ups and plenty of downs. But there was no doubt, as the last bells pealed, that this year was going to be even better. Ringing in the new year _together_ was just the start.

***

“What are we going to do once this wretched war is over?”

Adil looked up at Toby, his head cushioned on his lover’s chest. The two were lazing in Toby’s hotel room, Adil having gotten off from his shift not long before and headed straight for Toby’s room. “Well…I can’t imagine life will be too different for me. Everyone will still need a bartender but have prejudices against one that isn’t white.”

“It won’t always be like that, Adil,” Toby said softly. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re gorgeous.”

“You’re not exactly an impartial judge.”

Toby chuckled. “No, I suppose I’m not,” he kissed Adil lightly. “Fine, then…what am _I_ going to do once this wretched war is over?”

“Something to put your brilliant mind to use, I hope,” Adil laughed. Toby rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Toby. You’re the only one who doesn’t understand you’re a genius.”

Toby looked at Adil thoughtfully, combing his fingers through his lover’s hair. “I don’t care what it is…where it is…as long as you’re with me.”

With a soft laugh, Adil pressed a light kiss to the corner of Toby’s mouth. “Of course I’ll be with you, Toby.”

“The world is ours, Adil,” Toby said brightly. “It can only get better from here.”

“And for us? For people like _us_?”

“Like I said…it can only get better from here.”

Adil gazed warmly at Toby. It was something he loved about his lover…beneath the academic and cool logic, he was a dreamer. He had a sort of…romantic hope.

And when Toby got that way, Adil felt it too. Someday he’d be able to hold Toby’s hand outside of their little world. To call him his boyfriend, his partner…perhaps even his _husband_ someday.

It was 1942. The war was raging on around them, but Toby and Adil had a bubble that couldn’t be popped that easily. With each passing year, the two men grew more and more entwined, their lives no longer separate paths. No matter what happened, they were now in it together.

“What are you thinking about?” Toby propped himself up on his elbow, looking at Adil with an intense fire in his eyes.

Adil gave a small smile, just enjoying the sight before him. “I love you.”

Toby raised an eyebrow but gave a little laugh. “I love you too, Adil. Is that all?”

“Oh, I suppose there’s more. Just the usual,” he teased.

“I like 1942,” Toby said thoughtfully. “It hasn’t been too bad. Do you think the war will be over soon?”

“I do.”

“It can’t be like this forever.”

“And it won’t be. We’ll win against the Germans and everything will be right with the world.”

With a soft sigh, Toby shrugged. “Not _everything_.”

Both men knew what he was talking about. Things wouldn’t be easy for them as a couple even after the war. They could be dreamers, Toby especially, but the world wasn’t _there_ yet. Even when they did beat the Germans, homosexuality would still be illegal, could still land them in jail. Perhaps someday Toby and Adil would be able to live their life together the way they wanted to. But it wasn’t any time in the near future.

The war waged right outside, but Toby and Adil were in their own little bubble, cuddled up on Toby’s bed. 

“We should start a collection,” Adil said thoughtfully, tracing patterns along Toby’s chest. “Of newspaper clippings, and parts of our lives and writings. Things to keep _our_ memories for _us_ , but also show the world what it was like through time.”

“Brilliant,” Toby gave a dazzling grin. “A way to look back on our lives.”

“Exactly.”

Toby kissed Adil, rolling on top of him to press him into the mattress. “And you call me a genius.”

Adil laughed, running his hands through Toby’s hair. “ _Someone_ has to do it. Why not us?”

***

_April 15, 1944  
Toby and I found a secret bar today. Well, we heard whispers of it and finally found where we were going. It’s a bar just for homosexual men. There’s a password and all sorts of precautions in case the police show up._

_Toby was a bit hesitant at first, but we ended up having a good time. It was nothing like the Halcyon, which was nice for both of us. I think my favorite part (and Toby’s favorite part) was that we could dance together, and nobody cared. I always wondered what it would be like to dance with him, and now I know…and it was marvelous._

_I know we both dream of a world where we can do that sort of thing at any bar we’d like to, but I suppose this will have to do for now. It’s better than nothing…and the future is bright._

***

Everyone celebrated the end of the war in 1945. Toby and Adil had been closely following everything leading up to it…the writing on the wall. They relished in a world where they didn’t have to go down to the bomb shelter every time the sirens went off…that had become even more of a nightmare, as Toby and Adil both had to play their part in the shelter…and playing their part didn’t involve being safe in each other’s arms.

Because Adil’s arms were the safest place in the world, as far as Toby was concerned. And the fact that they had to be apart in the shelters, shooting each other yearning looks over crowds of people. Toby knew he couldn’t feel truly safe unless he was in Adil’s arms.

They’d go back to their privacy afterwards, Adil holding Toby as Toby’s body shook violently. Toby wasn’t the type to allow vulnerability, but sometimes there was no helping it.

Adil was the only one who ever _really_ saw it.

But the war had ended! No one had ever thought the day would come, but it did. There was celebrating, of course. It was in the air, it was everywhere. One couldn’t enter a bar without hearing cheers and joy. Even the secret bar was in a state of celebration. Although there was no progress there, it felt like things were…a step closer.

Toby and Adil found themselves celebrating amongst many groups. Of course, there was Freddie coming home for good…Emma had made sure to kiss him extra hard, extra long, and Freddie had proposed soon after. Lady Hamilton was uncertain at first but was learning a bit about her son’s _happiness_ even if Toby couldn’t share his relationship with her.

They celebrated with the friends they had made at the secret bar. Every homosexual man felt this was a step in the right direction…maybe they could have it better in the bright new future, too.

***

_December 25, 1945  
I’ve finally convinced Adil to get a flat together. I’m very tired of living in the hotel, as much as it has been home for so long. It just feels like Adil and I would never be a proper couple until we’re living together, even though we have to make certain arrangements about how we appear to the outside world. As far as anyone is aware, Adil is now my valet._

_Sometimes we have a laugh about our “game”. Obviously we wish it wasn’t like this, but the world just isn’t ready for us just yet._

_I gave him his keys as his Christmas gift. He got teary when I told him what they were, hugging me tightly as the keys hung from his fingers. I couldn’t possibly think of a better way to end this year…the year the war ended, the year things got better. I will be living with the love of my life…I am sure this is our first flat of many._

***

It was a balmy day in January, 1946 when Toby and Adil moved into their flat. Lady Hamilton was only slightly concerned for her darling son living all on his own, but Adil put on a good show as a hard-working valet, leaving the woman feeling a bit better about it all. She had made sure to drill Adil to the extreme, and Toby was extremely grateful for his lover’s ability to stay cool under fire. She had looked quite satisfied by the time she left.

The flat was closer to the Halcyon than Paddington was…Adil insisted that he still wanted to tend bar at night. It was a job he loved. Toby knew this would be useful for his relationship with his mother, as it meant he would spend some nights in the bar with her. She didn’t question.

Adil contributed what he could to the flat, he insisted on it. Toby knew there was no fighting that one. It was a nice sized place…a nice kitchen, sitting room with a ornate fireplace…it had a master bedroom and a servant’s bedroom down the hall. Although Adil kept all his belongings in the servant’s bedroom, even going as far as to decorate the room, every night he crawled into bed with Toby, the two holding each other close, a tangle of limbs and hot breath. They would catch each other up on their day to day lives, the times they weren’t together and needed to tell each other about.

“I have a job interview,” Toby breathed one night.

“That’s fantastic,” Adil grinned. “What is it for?”

“A documenting job at University of London,” Toby propped himself up on his elbow, gazing intently at Adil. “Someone has to document the war…so we don’t forget it. I want to write the history books, exactly how it was.”

Adil gazed at Toby adoringly. “You’re the best man for the job.”

Toby laughed, rolling over on top of Adil. “That’s why _we_ have to document, too. Everyone needs a voice, Adil. Someday, everyone’s voice will be pure gold…we have to make sure we’re a part of that.”

Adil rubbed his nose gently against Toby’s. “My revolutionary.”

“But you’re one, too,” Toby insisted passionately. “You’re the one by my side…the one going to the secret pubs with me, the one loving me in a world where we’re not _allowed_ to love. You’re the one living in a world where people judge you on your skin color, your class. Your voice is just as important as the rest of ours…if not _more_.”

Adil laughed. “I love you,” he said softly, placing a light kiss on Toby’s lips. “The war has done amazing things to you.”

Toby smiled slyly. “It’s changed my perspective on life, I suppose. I don’t care…all that matters to me is that you’re here by my side. That you always will be, no matter how crazy this world may get,” he kissed Adil lightly. “I love you too, Adil.”

“1946 is going to be a good year,” Adil said contemplatively. “I can tell.”

“Mmm…you can only tell because it’s the year we moved in together. Like an _actual_ couple.”

“No,” Adil insisted with a laugh. “I can tell.”

Toby pulled Adil close and kissed him deeply, never wanting to stop.

***

Freddie and Emma’s wedding was a big to-do. They got married in the spring of 1947 in a small church where, apparently, Hamilton’s had been getting married at for generations. Toby stood at the alter as his brother’s best man, but his mind was far away. He kept glancing over at Adil who was sitting in the back with all the staff. Occasionally Adil would catch Toby’s glances and give him a reprimanding quirk of the eyebrow.

Toby couldn’t help but wish he could be up here with Adil. The two lovers could be facing each other on the alter, ready to become husbands. They’d slip wedding bands on each other’s fingers, seal their vows with a kiss. Although Toby was staying present for his brother, passing over the rings (and not dropping them, like he feared he would), he couldn’t help his mind drifting from time to time.

He wanted to put a ring on Adil’s finger. Even if they couldn’t be officially married…or officially be together at all, Toby wanted to make some sort of promise to the man he loved. They could have their own little ceremony.

***

_April 20, 1947  
Freddie and Emma got married today. It brought up a lot of feelings…like whether I will never get the chance to marry the love of my life. Legally, I mean. I feel like we’ve already promised ourselves to each other. But we have so long to go…I suppose I should worry about other things first. Homosexuality not being a criminal offense. Being open about our relationship. All of that._

_Adil calls me a revolutionary, but am I really? All I want is a better life for myself and the man I love._

_Every year we decide that it will be a good year. And I suppose each year does get better and better. Maybe it also takes us a step closer to a freedom that, at the moment, we can only dream of._

***

“1948.”

As had become their ritual, Toby and Adil sat against the bed wearing only their trousers, passing a bottle of champagne back and forth. Adil raised an eyebrow at Toby. “1948?”

“It’s going to be a good year.”

“We say that every year.”

“Well years have been getting better and better.”

“I suppose.”

The two sat with their shoulders pressed together. Toby chuckled softly, nuzzling his nose against Adil’s neck. “It’s in the air, Adil. I see it in the office. The world is moving forward…we’re recovering from the war, making crimes known. People like D’Abberville are being exposed for what they were. And people know that changes are imminent,” he smiled into Adil’s neck. “Maybe someday soon we’ll be able to get married.”

“My revolutionary,” Adil laughed, tilting his head to kiss Toby lightly. “My dreamer.”

Toby laughed, putting down the champagne bottle to kiss Adil deeply. “I love you,” he whispered against his lover’s lips. “I love you so much.”

“I love you so much, too, Toby,” Adil whispered back, catching Toby’s lips again.

The bells from the nearby church started chiming midnight. Adil didn’t even notice Toby reaching into his pocket, or the way he took his hand as they kissed with the midnight bells. He did, however, notice the gold ring on his ring finger when they pulled back. Looking up at Toby with wide eyes, Adil searched his lover’s hazel eyes.

“I know we can’t really be _us_ outside these walls, but you’re mine, Adil Joshi. That’s my promise.”

Adil felt the tears stinging his eyes as he looked from the ring to Toby. “Toby Hamilton…you’re mine, and you always will be. You didn’t have to-”

“It’s all I can do. No one will know except us.”

Making sure he didn’t knock over the champagne, Adil moved to straddle Toby, taking his lover’s face in his hands and kissing him deeply.

Nothing had ever felt more perfect.

***

_January 2, 1948  
It may not mean anything officially, but Toby put a ring on my finger on New Years. It brings something new to our relationship. This ring will stay on my finger forever…and Toby’s optimism is wearing off on me…someday this ring will be recognized as something official in the eyes of the world…not just the eyes of my lover and me._

***

The phone was ringing for a good minute before Adil was able to untangle himself from Toby to get to it.

“Toby Hamilton’s residence,” he said in his best valet tone, though his mind was still on Toby’s mouth all over his naked body.

“Mr. Joshi,” Freddie said cheerfully. “Is my brother available?”

“Certainly, Lord Hamilton. Let me go fetch him.”

Toby looked grumpy as he threw his robe over his bare body and went into the sitting room where the telephone was. “I’d rather be back in bed with you,” he mouthed at Adil with a pout. Adil chuckled and handed him the phone. “Yes, Freddie?”

“Toby! You’ll never guess the news!”

“Then perhaps you should tell me.”

“Emma is pregnant!”

A bubbling warmth rose in Toby’s chest. He had always known that, even though he would never have children of his own, he would get to be a wonderful uncle someday. “Oh, Freddie! Congratulations!” he exclaimed. Obviously he wasn’t _quite_ as excited as the father to be, but he was still filled with joy. “And to Emma, as well.”

Toby could feel Freddie’s euphoria through the phone. “Can you believe it? We’re going to be _parents_!”

“And you’ll make wonderful ones.”

“And you’ll be an _uncle_!”

“Hopefully I can do the job well,” Toby laughed.

Adil was sitting on one of the arm chairs in the sitting room, his trousers back on and legs hanging over the end of one of the arms of the chair. He looked at Toby inquiringly, and Toby just grinned at him. “I’ll tell you after the call,” he said in a low voice that Freddie wouldn’t be able to hear.

Toby supposed he should add it to the list of things that would be different someday. Adil would get to be this child’s uncle as well…and any other children that Freddie and Emma would have, because Toby was sure they wouldn’t be stopping at one.

“I just had to tell you, Toby.”

“Of course, Freddie,” Toby laughed. “I’m so glad you did. I’m completely ecstatic for you two. Have you told mother yet?”

“Not yet. I wanted to tell you first.”

Toby felt a warmth in his chest. For all the issues he and Freddie had had in the past, they were still twins, still two halves of a whole.

“Thank you, Freddie…though Mother might just kill you for that.”

Freddie gave a loud laugh. “You’re probably right. I’d better go call her.”

“I’ll talk to you later, Freddie. And congratulations to you two again.”

“Thank you, Toby.”

They hung up the phone. Toby looked over to Adil who was watching him, eyebrow raised. The happiness bubbled in Toby’s chest again.

“I’m going to be an uncle!”

***

_1\. Homosexuality decriminalized_  
2\. Being accepted by families  
3\. Safety and being out in public  
4\. Being allowed to get married  
5\. Perhaps adopting (depending on our age)  
6\. Both getting to be uncles 

***

Shortly before New Years, Toby sat down and wrote out a list of things he hoped for in their life. Most of it seemed pretty impossible, but it couldn’t hurt to be a bit optimistic. Besides, they were on the dawn of a new decade. Who knew what sort of beautiful thing could be right around the corner?

“We’ll never be allowed to get married,” Adil said, eyes cast down.

“You don’t know that, love,” Toby nuzzled his lover’s neck.

“And adopt?”

“Don’t be such a pessimist.”

Adil chuckled softly, running his fingers through Toby’s hair. “I’m not being a pessimist. I’m being a realist.”

“The first couple could be attainable. And if we ever talked to Freddie and Emma…you could be an uncle to their kids as well.”

Adil shrugged. “You’re asking for a lot, Toby.”

“For a _lifetime_.”

“What is going to be different in the last year of the ’40’s, then?”

Toby looked over to Adil thoughtfully, watching his lover play with the gold ring on his finger. “Probably nothing,” he finally admitted honestly. “Anything big that would have happened would have happened by now.”

Adil laughed. “Revolutionary. Dreamer. Cynic.”

“Hey,” Toby chuckled. “You knew what you were signing up for.”

“I had _no clue_ what I was signing up for.”

“Mmm…I’m glad you kissed me anyway,” Toby took a sip of the champagne. “It’s still one of the best moments of my life.”

“I’m glad I kissed you, too. Even though I was terrified afterwards.”

Toby laughed, handing his lover the bottle of champagne. “A fair thing, I’d say.”

“It would have been bad enough for a man to kiss another man…let alone an Indian barman kissing an aristocrat,” he gave a half smile and took a sip of the champagne. “I got lucky.”

Toby pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Adil’s mouth. “I got _luckier_.”

“Revolutionary. Dreamer. Cynic. Sap.”

Toby laughed, taking the champagne. “Oh stop it.”

Adil took Toby’s hands in his, holding them tight. The midnight bells started chiming and the two men nuzzled each other’s noses before kissing on the final chime. As they pulled back, Toby’s eyebrows furrowed as he realized something. He looked at his finger where a gold band had been slipped on. “It took me awhile to be able to afford one, but you needed it as well. Be mine forever?”

Tears stung Toby’s eyes. “Forever, Adil Joshi.”

***

Freddie and Emma’s baby was born in August, a healthy and beautiful girl they named Margaret. Everyone fell under the baby’s spell in no time, and even Adil had been allowed to hold her when Emma saw the way he had been looking at her, even though he had tried to be discreet.

The addition to the Hamilton family caused a wave, but a good one. Things shifted. Even Lady Hamilton didn’t seem as concerned about finding someone for Toby. It was a thing that had been on and off over the years, but by now, she had _mostly_ given up, “allowing” her younger son to be an eccentric bachelor.

Months passed. The looming new year, the start of a new decade, was starting to get to everyone. No one knew what was around the corner anymore. For so long they had lived in fear of the war, and even if the past few years hadn’t carried that, there had still been a sort of…darkness.

This was something new.

A week before New Years, the phone rang. Toby and Adil had been lounging in the sitting room with a nice fire going, crowded together on one of the arm chairs. Adil extracted himself, leaving a pouting Toby. Adil couldn’t help but chuckle slightly…Toby should know he couldn’t pout like that anymore. “Toby Hamilton’s residence.”

“Hello, Mr. Joshi. Is Toby around?”

“Of course, Lord Hamilton,” he handed the phone to Toby, who shifted in the chair to reach the phone.

“Is everything okay?” Toby rushed out, imagining all the terrible things that Freddie could be calling about.

Freddie laughed. “Everything is _fine_ , Toby.”

“Oh. Well…okay, then.”

“What do you do on New Years?”

Toby felt his heart pounding in his chest. All these years he had been able to get away with his New Years tradition with Adil. No one had ever questioned, though Toby knew it was inevitable. He felt his breathing quicken. _Lie, lie, lie._ “I spend it alone,” he finally said. “Reflection time and all.”

“I suppose Mr. Joshi goes back to his family.”

“Freddie-”

“We’re about to enter a new decade, Toby. Please be honest with me.”

Toby was silent. He looked over to Adil who was drinking his tea, completely unaware of the whole conversation. Adil had gotten quite good at blocking out Toby’s personal conversations. It was a blessing and a curse, Toby supposed.

“He’s mine, Freddie. And I’m his.”

There was quiet for a moment. Toby knew his brother was a smart man. He had obviously guessed something was going on. Had he seen the rings? Caught on to Toby and Adil’s unspoken communication? All of it? Toby felt a sort of terror he hadn’t felt in some time. _He_ wouldn’t end up in jail. Adil… _would_.

Finally, Freddie let out a relieved chuckle. “Thank God you found someone. I’m very grateful for that.”

Toby let out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Thank you, Freddie,” he finally said in a small voice.

“Happy New Years to you and Mr. Joshi,” Freddie said joyfully.

“And to you and Emma and Margaret,” Toby said with a breathy laugh.

He hung up the phone. Adil looked over. “Toby?”

Toby laughed. “I’ll explain when I’m breathing properly again.”

***

It was just another year, but it felt so _big_. There had been times, during the war, that people weren’t even sure they’d get here. But here they were, on the edge of 1950.

Toby and Adil sat as they always did, shirtless against their bed, a bottle of champagne passed back and forth. Once Toby had calmed down enough, he had told Adil about his conversation with Freddie. Adil held Toby’s hand tight, though whether it was for his lover or himself was unclear. Not that it mattered at this point. They could deal with it later…now was the time to ring in the new year as they always did.

They kissed as the church bells finished chiming, Adil then resting his head on Toby’s shoulder. Toby ran his fingers through his lover’s hair, occasionally kissing the top of his head with a smile.

“1950 is going to be a good year,” Toby finally said.

“You say that every year,” Adil teased.

“I don’t care,” Toby laughed, burying his face in Adil’s hair. “I love you, Adil Joshi.”

“I love you too, Toby Hamilton.”

“Happy New Years, darling.”

“Happy New Years.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No surprises here...thank you for all the kudos and comments!


	3. 1950s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Halfway through the fifties and what do we have to show for it?”
> 
> “Fifteen years together,” Adil chuckled.
> 
> “Imagine being twenty-one again,” Toby sighed. “We’re getting old, Adil.”
> 
> Adil took Toby’s hand, holding it tightly and rubbing his gold ring. “Yes, but we’re getting old together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has taken so long! I was keeping up a good pace, and then my aunt passed away and I had to put a hold on things. But here we go, the 1950s.
> 
> SzonKlin is the absolute best. She helped me through every version this one took, which was a lot.
> 
> ***MAJOR WARNING: Physical violence/harm to a character.
> 
> And of course, they're not mind.

1950’s

_Daily Mirror - February 7, 1950  
Last night, a secret homosexual bar on Masters Street was raided. Thanks to an anonymous tip-off, police were able to get in, though most attendees were able to escape before the police could get to them. The few that were caught are now in custody, waiting to attend trial. The bar was…continued on page 19…_

Toby and Adil looked at the blurb in the newspaper solemnly, fingers linked. “What a way to start the fifties,” Adil said, voice barely above a whisper.

“We could have been there,” Toby was shaking.

They stood in silence for another moment. “We should clip it,” Adil mused. “So future generations know the facts about how we had to live.”

Toby nodded, holding Adil’s hand tighter. “We could have been there,” he whispered.

The phone started ringing. Hesitantly, Adil picked it up. “Toby-”

“Mr. Joshi! Oh God, you two are okay!”

Adil handed the phone to Toby. “Freddie?”

“Oh thank God! We saw the bit in the newspaper and thought…we just thought…”

“We’re okay, Freddie,” Toby’s voice was still a bit shaky. “We weren’t there.”

Freddie gave a shaky laugh. “We were so scared, Toby. I know that’s your life and all, but-”

“I promise the both of us are safe.”

“Toby…” Freddie said thoughtfully. “We barely know Mr. Joshi. Just as…well, staff, I suppose. Will you two please come over for dinner one night?”

“Freddie-”

“I mean, I could have lost you, and I know nothing about the man who makes it all worth it for you.”

There was a warm bubbling feeling in Toby’s chest. After nearly a decade of him and Adil having to keep their true relationship a secret, they finally had some people to share it all with. Toby couldn’t deny he was grateful it was his twin. No matter how turbulent their relationship could get, and had been over the years, they had both grown up. They’d been through war and hardships and various things too terrible to rip the scab off of, but Freddie was still Toby’s other half, the person who had always been there and now, Toby was truly seeing, was still there and always would be.

Some things just transcended the rest.

“Of course, Freddie. We would love to come over for dinner.”

“Wonderful! How about tomorrow?”

Toby looked over to Adil who was back to lounging in an arm chair, the look on his face making it clear he was still thinking about the article in the paper. “Are you working tomorrow night?” Toby asked.

“I don’t believe so,” Adil said with a raised eyebrow.

“We can do tomorrow,” Toby chuckled.

“We’ll see you at six-thirty,” Freddie said enthusiastically. “Goodbye, Toby!”

They hung up the phone at the same time. Adil studied his lover. “What was that all about?”

“Freddie and Emma want to do dinner with us,” Toby said. “Tomorrow.”

Adil looked slightly alarmed and slightly confused at the same time. “Toby-”

“They support us, Adil. Totally and completely. And…they want to get to know you. As my lover, not as staff. Toby looked at Adil pleadingly. “He’s my _twin_ , Adil. He’s reaching out to us. He wants to be a part of our lives…all parts of our lives. He accepts me for who I am…and if you could have heard the panic in his voice when he was asking about the bar…this is important to me, Adil. Please.”

Adil deflated slightly. He could never say no to Toby. “Alright. But if things start going south…”

“We can leave. Of course we can,” Toby went over to the armchair, crouching in front of Adil. “I love you so much.”

Adil chuckled. “I love you so much too, Toby,” he pressed a light kiss to his lips.

They clipped out the newspaper article and added it to the box they had started with their thoughts and pictures of them and everything else they had found over the years.

“We should organize this somehow,” Toby mused. A nice book or something. Something more organized.”

“Mmm…between your organizational skills and mine, I think we can manage something.”

The men gave each other soft smiles, love written on their features, in their eyes.

“Maybe 1950 won’t be so bad after all,” Toby gave a half smile, closing the lid of the cigar box that held their documentation.

“You say that every year,” Adil teased, standing and pulling Toby up with him.

“We’re in our thirties, now,” Toby’s face scrunched up. “Practically ancient.”

“Too ancient for…” Adil whispered something in Toby’s ear.

Toby laughed. “Definitely _not_ too ancient for that.”

***

Lady Hamilton had offered to watch her granddaughter when Freddie had told her he and Emma would be having some friends over for dinner. Of course, Lady Hamilton’s world practically revolved around Margaret, so it wasn’t too hard. The only problem was that she had started pushing Toby to find a wife again, often lamenting about how lonely Toby much be, locked up in his flat with his odd valet. He _needed_ a wife. Lady Hamilton _needed_ more grandchildren.

“Yes, mother,” Toby was on the phone with his mother right when he was trying to get ready. “I know, you’ve said I’ll like her…but I’m fine right now. I have too much work and too little time to worry about…right. Okay, well, I have to go. We’ll continue this conversation later on, alright?”

Toby nearly slammed the phone back onto the receiver. “Such nonsense,” he mumbled.

“What’s such nonsense?”

Adil came out from their bedroom dressed in a nice button down and slacks. He looked _gorgeous_ , and Toby couldn’t think of anything else. “My mother,” he finally mumbled.

“Ah, of course,” Adil’s mouth curled into a sly smile. “Another woman?”

Toby nodded. “Maybe I should just stick you in a dress,” he teased.

“Oh, don’t you dare, Toby Hamilton.”

Toby got up, crossing over to his lover and kissing him deeply. “I have to go get ready,” Toby whispered against Adil’s lips.

“You are _criminal_ ,” Adil said grumpily.

“I try.”

“Go get ready before I take you right here.”

“Mmm…is that supposed to be-”

“ _Go_!”

***

Toby knew that he and Adil had to be careful, but some things aroused suspicious and _were_ noticed by others…no matter how discreet the two men were. It was just a moment in the doorway, Adil’s fingers running down Toby’s arms and a soft _I love you_.

They were just over thirty. They were invincible.

They _knew_ the fifties were bad time to be a homosexual male. Probably even worse than the forties, with the rise of conversion therapy and all the busts on the secret bars. There was violence…Toby and Adil had heard about it. Of course, it couldn’t happen to them. It could _never_ happen to them.

“Looks like we have a nancy boy here, huh?” Toby heard someone say as he passed an alley by his and Adil’s flat. He tried to ignore it, though he felt a panic bubbling up in his chest.

They had been seen in the doorway.

Toby walked a bit faster.

“What’s the problem?” he could hear the sneer in a second man’s voice. “Are you trying to be some sort of respectable homosexual?”

Toby only had time for a quick breath in when one of the men jumped on top of him, his legs giving out as he crumpled to the ground. “Please-”

“Aww. Now the fruit is begging.”

The first kick was right into Toby’s stomach. He gasped as the wind was knocked out of him and he tried to crawl off. One of the men grasped at Toby’s hair, pulling him back. “Maybe we should get his _boyfriend_ too,” that was a new voice. There were three men there…Toby knew he didn’t stand a chance. He couldn’t even speak at the moment…he was vaguely able to process the kicks and punches. Toby’s head was spinning, and everything hurt.

One of the men dragged him up by the hair again. Toby could feel blood trickling down his face. All he could think was _Oh God, I’m going to die. I can’t leave Adil…I can’t leave Adil…_

And then one of the men pulled out a switchblade, holding it up to Toby’s throat. “Is more of your blood even worth spilling?” through the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut, Toby saw a cruel upturn of his lips…as if the man couldn’t even manage an actual smile.

Toby’s lip was cut and it hurt to speak. “You got what you wanted…leave me be,” he managed, blood trickling from his lip.

“Fruit’s trying to be brave,” the first man laughed cruelly. “We _really_ need to put him in his place.”

Before Toby could speak again, there was a loud noise from outside the alleyway. “Shit,” one of the men said. “Let’s get out of here.”

With a final kick to Toby’s stomach, the three men ran, leaving Toby curled up in pain on the ground. He was going to die…oh God, he was going to die.

***

Toby was barely able to process that he was now in a bed, not on the ground in the alleyway that he remembered being in. Everything hurt…one of his eyes was swollen shut and he was vaguely aware he was covered in bandages.

He turned his head slightly…a painful move, to see Adil sitting by his bed, tears streaming down his face. “Oh God, Toby…” his voice was laced with terror. “You’re okay…oh _God_ , you’re okay.”

Toby blinked, trying to remember everything that had happened. “They were beating me up…” he said slowly. “But then they just left…”

“A neighbor saw them beating you up in the alley and came to me. I made the noise that got them running.”

Crying was painful, but Toby couldn’t help it. “I thought I was going to die,” he whispered.

“You’re okay,” Adil said softly. He looked both ways to make sure they were alone before taking Toby’s hand and kissing the back of it lightly. “You have a couple of broken bones and they had to stitch up some cuts, but you’re okay,” Adil was crying softly. “This is my fault…this is all my fault…”

“ _No_ ,” Toby said as forcefully as he could. “It’s not. It’s just…we weren’t as careful as we should have been.”

“The doctors were…they were saying…”

“Adil, just relax,” it felt a bit weird for Toby to be the one trying to get Adil to relax. “I’m okay. I’m going to be just fine.”

Adil held back a soft sob. “I want to hold you. I want to crawl into that bed and-”

“Oh, Mr. Hamilton, you’re awake,” a nurse came into the room with a pitcher of water and she poured a glass, handing it to Toby. “Your brother and sister in law are in the lobby. Shall I send them in?”

Toby shot Adil a look that said, _Did you really tell my brother?_

Adil just shrugged helplessly, but with a guilty smile.

“Yes, you can send them in.”

The nurse left the room and a couple minutes later, Freddie and Emma rushed in. “Toby…oh thank God you’re okay,” Freddie’s face was etched with concern and Emma looked close to tears. “What happened? Adil could only give us a…brief explanation.”

“Some guys saw me and Adil in the doorway,” Toby said softly. What was with him and Adil in doorways? It was like Mr. D’Abberville all over again. “They got me into an alley and beat me up…I think they were about to kill me.”

Adil let out another soft sob, burying his face in his hands.

Emma went to rub Adil’s back while Freddie sat beside Toby. “Toby…God, when Adil telephoned…and you weren’t awake yet and we just…we were so scared. All the broken bones and stitches and…we were expecting the worst.”

Toby tried to give a smile, but the entirety of his bottom lip was stitched up and he could only manage a slight grimace. “I think…I got lucky,” Toby looked down, tears welling in his not swollen eye again. “I just remember thinking…I couldn’t leave Adil. That was all I could think about.”

The twins looked over to where Emma was still trying to relax Adil. “They weren’t going to let him in,” Freddie mumbled to Toby. “We had to step in and vouch for him. For a second, we thought _he_ was going to lose his cool.”

Toby didn’t attempt a smile again, but it was clear in his good eye. “I’m not surprised. When do you think they’ll let me out?”

“Not for some time,” Adil said, obviously calmer than before. “With all the injuries and such.”

“We’ll be here in shifts,” Emma said before turning to Adil. “That means you have to go home and get some sleep. How long have you been awake for?”

“Er…”

“That’s what I thought. Don’t worry, we’ll take care of Toby. Rest up…it’s going to be a long couple of weeks.”

***

Toby had time to recover mentally and physically, though he was still a bit frightened with his release. The doctors said it was normal for a victim of physical violence. Toby, Adil, Freddie and Emma had all looked at each other…they knew there was much more to it all than physical violence…and there was nothing they could do to protect Toby _all_ the time.

To start with, while Toby needed to stay at home out of fear, Adil stayed with him, holding him, promising he was okay, and reassuring him no one expected anything out of him until he was ready.

It took some time, but slowly, Toby’s fear melted away until he was ready to rejoin the world.

After that, dinner with Freddie and Emma became a weekly thing. Things were going mostly smoothly, until Lady Hamilton started prying. Toby had spoken to her once he was released from the hospital, but he was pretty sure she didn’t buy his ‘bad case of pneumonia’ story. They were lucky that between the four of them they had enough ingenuity to keep her off their trail.

Unfortunately, Lady Hamilton’s quest to find her younger son a wife had taken on a new fire. Why not have someone there to take care of him the next time he got that sick?

“Toby, you’re nearly thirty-three. You can’t remain a bachelor forever!”

“Mother, I have no interest in this. Any of this. I’m perfectly happy with my life…I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

“Toby, there are so many lovely women out there. Just the other day I was talking to-” Lady Hamilton looked at the way Toby was looking down at his feet, a slight blush on his cheeks. “Toby?”

Toby knew that his mother was a sharp woman. He had always figured that, sooner or later, she would discover him and Adil. And the thought terrified him, because he knew she had the power to destroy their lives.

_God_ Toby was so tired of hiding.

“You have someone, don’t you, Toby?”

Hesitantly and slowly, Toby nodded his head.

“A man.”

Another nod.

“Oh, Toby…”

Lady Hamilton didn’t look angry. She didn’t look disgusted. She didn’t look like she pitied Toby, or like she was going to do anything drastic. She didn’t look like she was going to take Adil away from Toby. She didn’t look like she was going to send anyone to jail, or do anything negative at all.

“Mother, I swear-”

“You’re not alone,” she said softly, taking her son’s hands in hers in a rare moment of maternalism. “You should have just _said_.”

“It’s too dangerous out there to just _say_.”

Lady Hamilton studied her son. “Sometimes I look at you and your brother and I just see my little boys, running around, scraping their knees. You’ve both grown up so fast…so wonderfully. All I want is for you to have love, Toby.”

Toby felt tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. “I have love, Mother. I promise.”

Lady Hamilton gave a wistful smile. “And that’s all that matters to me.”

***

_December 11, 1950  
Mother has found out about me and Adil, and it’s not the end of the world. I think she understands now…and I think she’s always known that I was different. The sort of thing she’s always suppressed because of our social standing. But if my mother can accept my relationship with Adil, the rest of the world certainly can as well. And that’s just a fact._

_It’ll take time, of course, but we’re taking small steps, and that’s what matters._

***

Shortly after his phone call with his mother, Lady Hamilton called, requesting dinner with Toby and Adil. She suggested a small restaurant nearby, secluded, where people paid no attention to any other diners. It was too risky to have Adil enter her hotel room and not come out for some time. Toby and Adil were slightly wary, but they finally agreed to it. Lady Hamilton was obviously _trying_ , and that was a big step.

The two men met Lady Hamilton at the restaurant that Wednesday night. They were a tad bit late, but it didn’t seem to phase her beyond a general, “Honestly, Toby, will you ever be capable of arriving somewhere on time?”

“Hello to you too, mother,” Toby chuckled, kissing his mother’s cheek. He and Adil sat down across from her, making sure not to sit too close. There were only a few other people in the restaurant…Toby supposed Wednesday wasn’t the busiest night no matter where they had ended up. It was certainly something to be grateful for, given the situation.

“I wanted to…” Lady Hamilton squared her shoulders and looked between her son and his lover. “Well of course, I know Mr. Joshi as staff, but as…” she lowered her voice. “Well…someone more _personal_. Not that I didn’t have my… _suspicions_ over the years, but…”

Everyone around the table shifted awkwardly. “Mother-”

“But you’re _happy_ , Toby,” Lady Hamilton said warmly. “That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

Toby felt his eyes tearing up. Adil looked over and rubbed Toby’s knee under the table. It seemed almost absurd that this was the reaction Toby was getting. He never would have thought his mother would be _accepting_ of his relationship with Adil. A man. An Indian man on _staff_. Of course, he didn’t think she’d ever find out, but Toby supposed these things were always revealed eventually.

“Adil is my everything,” Toby said with a nervous smile. “And has been for a decade.”

“That affair with Mr. D’Abberville?”

Toby and Adil both started slightly. It had been some time since they had heard that name… _thought_ that name. “Yes,” Toby finally said, looking down. “He discovered us. Blackmailed us.”

“I am truly sorry.”

“It’s in the past,” Adil finally spoke up. “The importing thing is setting things right _now_.”

Lady Hamilton nodded in agreement. “I’m old,” she said wearily. Toby had never seen his elegant and timeless mother as _old_ , but it was much different when she brought it up herself. Toby could see it… _feel_ it coming off his mother in waves. “I won’t be here forever. All I want is my sons to be taken care of. Be loved. Be happy. Have everything I didn’t.”

“Well I promise I will always do anything and everything for Toby,” Adil promised with a warm smile. “Just as he does for me.”

This whole meeting was getting more and more surreal for Toby. He had never thought the day would come where he could sit down with his mother and _male_ lover and it would be okay. Better than okay. Toby had never thought his mother would be that progressive. That understanding. That accepting.

“Take care of my boy,” Lady Hamilton said softly. “That’s all I ask.”

“I swear it. For the rest of our lives.”

***

“Maybe fifty-one is the year homosexuality is decriminalized.”

Toby held the bottle of champagne in his hand thoughtfully, gazing ahead thoughtfully. “It was quite a year,” he chuckled. “Between Freddie and Emma finding out…and mum…”

Adil chuckled. Shortly after Toby had come out to his mother and the three had sat down for dinner, she had had a private, rather threatening conversation with Adil. Basically what would happen if he _ever_ hurt her son. Adil hadn’t told Toby about that one. It wasn’t necessary, and he knew it would drive Toby mad.

“The world is changing,” Adil said thoughtfully. “You can see it. You can hear it.”

Toby cuddled up close to Adil, taking his hand. He rubbed the gold ring on his lover’s finger. “Just promise you’ll always be mine,” Toby said softly.

“I promise,” Adil kissed his temple lightly. “Forever.”

“Forever,” Toby laughed, taking a swig of champagne. “I like forever. I like forever a lot.”

***

As much as Toby loved his family, there were moments where they drove him a bit crazy. Freddie and Emma and Lady Hamilton had their moments where they seemed to forget Toby and Adil’s position, for better or for worse. 1952, Lady Hamilton had asked the couple to come to a small, private party at the Halcyon for New Years. It was a very kind gesture, but Toby had to, somewhat bitterly, point out that Adil couldn’t show up at the hotel as something other than bartender.

Lady Hamilton had apologized profusely, offering a quiet party elsewhere. Toby had promised they already had plans, but they could all get dinner together after the New Year. They had done so a few times over the year…it was a surprise every time to Toby that his mother was so fond of Adil. He had never imagined it could be like this. Freddie and Emma, sure, but Lady Hamilton? The thought was absurd.

It was still unbelievable to Toby how accepting Lady Hamilton was.

New Year’s found Toby and Adil in their usual place, drinking champagne in their trousers against the bed. Toby was absentmindedly rubbing his finger over Adil’s gold ring…the two of them just enjoying the comfortable silence.

“We have a lot to celebrate this year,” Adil said softly. “More than I expected.”

Toby looked at his lover thoughtfully. “I suppose. Though there’s not much to celebrate as a homosexual man out there. The news that you hear…and after what happened…”

They didn’t talk about what happened much anymore, trying to put the years behind them.

More and more bars around England were being discovered and cracked down on. There were more beatings in the streets, turning Toby into something of a statistic, he supposed. After the beating, Toby and Adil knew that they had to be extra careful with these things, but the fifties were _clearly_ a bad time to be a homosexual in England. It was enough so that even Toby couldn’t dream of a better future for them at times. It looked like it was pretty hopeless at this point.

“Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better,” Adil said, barely above a whisper. They both knew neither of them believed the words.

Toby took a sip of the champagne. “Even if I can never show the world my love for you, at least I have you here.”

Adil took the bottle. “This is true. Though I’ll always wish…”

Toby nodded with understanding. He put his arm around Adil’s shoulders, pulling his lover close and kissing his neck lightly. “How long until midnight?”

“About half an hour,” Adil said with a glance at the clock on their bedside table.

“Mmm…” Toby nuzzled Adil’s neck. “Enough time to make love before we’re too full of champagne and just want to go to sleep.”

Adil laughed, putting the bottle down. “Well then perhaps you should take me to bed, Mr. Hamilton,” he smiled cheekily.

“Sometimes that sounds so _hot_.”

“I’ll have to remember that,” Adil took Toby’s hand, pulling them both up and onto the bed. Toby crawled on top of Adil, kissing him slowly, deeply. He reached down to undo and push down both his and Adil’s trousers, rubbing Adil’s growing hardness.

“You’re the most gorgeous being I’ve ever laid eyes on,” Toby said softly, groaning as Adil ground his hips up, their hard ons growing with the friction.

“Make love to me, Toby,” Adil growled.

Toby reached for the lube, carefully stretching Adil slowly, feeling more and more undone at the noises Adil was making…the way he tossed and turned and gripped the bedsheets beneath him. Crooking his fingers slightly, Adil let out a loud moan as Toby hit his sweet spot. “Now, Toby…I need you _now_.”

With a loud moan, Toby pulled his fingers out and pushed himself deep into Adil. “Oh God,” he moaned, gripping Adil’s hips tight. “Oh _God_.”

“I love you inside me.”

“I love _being_ inside you.”

Toby pulled Adil’s hips up, their gaze only breaking when they shared a languid kiss. Toby shifted slightly, grinning as Adil gasped loudly with the movement. “Right there, Toby!”

“I can hear,” Toby teased, thrusting in harder and taking Adil’s erection in his hand, jerking him off in time with his thrusts. Adil was mewling, reaching for every spot he possibly could, his fingers slipping from the sweat. It wasn’t long before he was coming, moaning loudly which Toby swallowed with a kiss. Just a moment later, Toby came as well, shooting his release deep inside Adil.

Toby pulled out, pulling Adil close to him, their limbs tangled as they kissed and nuzzled each other’s necks. “I love you,” Toby said, running his fingers lightly down Adil’s cheek. “Sometimes I still can’t believe you’re mine,” he marveled.

“I love you too,” Adil beamed. “Kissing you in the wine cellar was the best decision I’ve ever made.”

Toby laughed. “Every day I’m more and more grateful you did. I can’t even imagine what my life would look like if you hadn’t.”

It was something that Toby thought about from time to time. Dark moments when he imagined being forced into a marriage with some aristocratic girl. Hell, he’d probably be one of those men that got beat up in the park because of what he’d be caught doing with another man. The men who had nowhere else to go. Who were miserable in their lives and had to have their proper release in secrecy.

“Toby?”

“Sorry,” Toby kissed Adil lightly. “Just…thinking.”

“Always dangerous,” Adil said with a sly grin.

Toby laughed as the midnight bells started to chime. He looked at his lover for a moment before kissing him deeply, pulling his naked body close. “Happy New Years, Adil,” Toby mumbled against Adil’s lips.

“Happy New Years, Toby,” Adil mumbled back.

***

Lady Hamilton was ill. Cancer, they said. She wasn’t going to survive very long. Knowing their time was limited, Toby, Adil, Freddie and Emma were constantly with each other…Freddie and Emma had Margaret stay with a nanny often, though sometimes she stayed with them and Adil posed as her nanny, despite the idea of a male nanny being a bit unorthodox. When Margaret was at home, though, they found other ways to explain Adil being present with the rest of them, as they all knew there was no way to share the truth. But Lady Hamilton insisted it be like that. She really had come to love Adil over the years and wanted him there always as her son’s lover.

Toby found himself wishing the rest of the world could be as progressive as his mother had turned out to be.

As the treatments wrecked Lady Hamilton more and more, her family stood around her. Even Margaret spent more time in her grandmother’s room, despite her young age. She had Emma’s eyes, wise beyond their years, and she often wanted to be with her grandmother. Toby and Freddie talked alone often. They talked about how they had never really been close with their mother…what it ended up taking to bring them closer. Everyone had to go, of course, but now both twins were wishing for more time.

Toby, Freddie, Emma and Adil would stand in Lady Hamilton’s hospital room. When they weren’t alone or there were people bustling by, Adil quietly stood in the corner of the room, posing as a servant or helper or playing with Margaret. When they were all alone, he stood with the rest of them, often taking Lady Hamilton’s hand. There seemed to be something about him that comforted her.

It got worse and worse. A will was finalized.

The Hamilton family had never been closer. They all secretly cursed what it took.

***

Lady Hamilton fought the Cancer through 1952 and 1953, finally passing early in 1954. Her funeral was small, just her children. All the other people in her life were long forgotten or already dead. It was a cold but bright day, the sun shining in a way that didn’t reflect the mourners.

“I need a drink,” Freddie mumbled as the four of them walked from the cemetery. “Shall we go get one?”

“ _God yes_ ,” Toby sighed. He looked over at Adil who was still posed formally. Toby wanted so badly to reach for his hand. To feel those arms around him, promising it was all going to be alright. The pain would subside in time. Looking into his lover’s eyes, Toby saw his sentiments reflected back at him, which he figured would make do for now. When they got back home, they’d fall into each other’s arms and mourn together.

“What’s that bar where they never seem to mind Adil being with us?” Emma’s eyebrows were knit.

“The one on Terrace Street,” Toby said thoughtfully. “I think…” Adil gave him a discreet nod. “Great.”

It wasn’t much of a walk, so the four of them headed over in silence. Freddie and Emma held hands tightly, though they watched Toby and Adil carefully.

“Someday,” Emma said softly with a warm smile as they walked, the party otherwise silent as they entered the bar.

They found a more private table in the back and got settled, Adil taking the opportunity to take Toby’s hand under the table. Toby shot his lover a grateful smile. Freddie went to get drinks, bringing four whiskeys in two trips. The four of them raised their glasses in a toast. “To mother. To acceptance. To love,” Toby said softly.

“To mother. To acceptance. To love,” the other three echoed. And in that moment, it was all that mattered.

***

“Halfway through the fifties and what do we have to show for it?”

“Fifteen years together,” Adil chuckled.

“Imagine being twenty-one again,” Toby sighed. “We’re getting old, Adil.”

Adil took Toby’s hand, holding it tightly and rubbing his gold ring. “Yes, but we’re getting old together.”

***

_October 19, 1956  
I want to share my life with future generations, but sometimes I don’t know what to say. I’m not as good with words as Toby is, as hard as I try. But I was mulling some things over and I started thinking about one thing in particular that I thought might be important to write down._

_Margaret is seven years old now, and when we’re not in public, she calls me Uncle Adil. The girl is sharp as a tack…when she started calling me that, we had to sit down with her and explain to her that she couldn’t call me “uncle” in public. At first, she seemed baffled. She was saying things like “But Uncle Adil is my uncle!” and “Why would people not like that?” But with some careful explanations, she caught on._

_But it gave me a lot of hope. If she can accept me as an uncle, as part of the family like that, maybe more people in her generation can be like that. That, even if we won’t see it or experience it, future homosexuals will have a place in this world that Toby and I, and so many others like us, don’t._

_Maybe we will get to see it. I’m not a dreamer like Toby, but I suppose I do have my moments. Especially when I see him losing hope. I don’t ever want Toby to lose hope. I’m really beginning to think that if we’re in this together, maybe there’s more hope than I really thought._

***

_Daily Mirror - December 16, 1956  
Reported to police early this morning, a homosexual couple was found in Hyde Park, beaten to death. They were found in a grotesque state, clearly having been together criminally before they were discovered and murdered. Police are attempting to find the perpetrators, but they’re sure they are long gone, and they left nothing behind that would lead to finding them. Police have already stated that they aren’t too concerned about…continued on page 6…_

***

Early New Years Eve, Toby and Adil had had an early lunch with Freddie and Emma and Margaret. They figured they might as well, as it wouldn’t interfere with their tradition. Freddie and Emma had a nice sized house on the edge of town, enough room for Margaret and the dog. Toby and Adil went over, wine bottle in hand, letting themselves in as they always did.

“Uncle Adil, Uncle Toby!” Margaret crashed into Adil’s legs, hugging them tight. “It’s New Years!”

“Yes it is, Margaret,” Adil picked up his niece with a wide smile. Margaret always seemed to go to Adil first, something that entertained all the adults. “Are you staying up until midnight?”

“Mama and papa won’t let me,” the young girl pouted. “They say I’m too young.”

“Smart of them,” Toby ruffled her hair. “You’ll be able to soon enough.”

The three of them headed towards the parlor where Anise, the maid, was pouring tea. Toby and Adil hugged Freddie and Emma before getting situated while Margaret went to play with her dolls on the floor. “Happy New Years,” Emma smiled.

“Happy New Years,” Toby laughed. As soon as Anise left, Toby and Adil took each others hands, fingers interlaced.

“I’m glad we convinced you to come out today,” Freddie chuckled. “We know you have your mysterious New Years tradition every year…” he gave them a look that clearly said he wanted to know about their mysterious tradition.

Toby snorted. “And a mysterious tradition it will remain.”

Adil rolled his eyes. “It’s nothing big, I promise.”

“Nonetheless, it’s wonderful you’re celebrating with us as well,” Emma chuckled. She sighed softly. “Perhaps we’ll see some changes this year.”

“I wouldn’t count on it,” Toby looked down. Adil knew what he was thinking about…it had been in the paper just a few days ago…another homosexual couple found in a park and beaten to death. “At least not for us. It’s still too ugly out there for us.”

Adil took Toby’s hand and held it tightly. “We’ll get there eventually.”

“Every year is a new chance,” Freddie smiled slightly.

Tea was followed by a light meal. As Margaret was telling Adil about all the adventures she had been on recently and Emma was trying to keep her daughter from getting too excited, Toby took the chance to talk to Freddie.

“I truly believe that it won’t always be like this,” Freddie said in earnest. “And I know you believe it too.”

“It’s just…hard to believe sometimes,” Toby admitted.

Freddie looked over at his daughter, latched tight onto Adil. “Look at that, Toby. Look at the new generation. Margaret loves Adil…he’s just as much her uncle as you are. The world is changing. People are becoming more open minded. Kids don’t see the difference.”

Thoughtfully, Toby gazed at the scene before him for just a moment. “You know, Freddie…for so long, I’ve dreamed of a better world for _us_. But there’s so much more to it, isn’t there? Adil and I have our world. And yes, I would love it to be a world that accepted us, but we have you and Emma…mother when she was alive. We have Margaret. Maybe I’ve been too close minded. I just want a better future for…those yet to come.”

Toby knew he had a great life, even if he had to be secret with Adil. At least he _had_ Adil, the love of his life. Freddie, his twin, and Emma, who had probably always known anyway. Margaret, who saw Adil just as much of an uncle as she saw Toby.

Toby had a lot to be grateful for…and he knew it. His own world was pretty damn perfect.

***

It was getting harder and harder for Adil to pose as a valet. In this world, this time, it wasn’t as big a thing as it had once been. Adil often found Toby sitting by the fire, lost in thought as he tried to think up excuses to Adil being a part of the household. What he did with his time. Adil knew it was taxing on his lover…Toby had always been good at problem solving, but this one continued to stump him.

The neighborhood they lived in was changing. It was starting to become more families. Couples with young children who couldn’t afford bigger houses just yet. And the couples were more and more suspicious of the eccentric Mr. Hamilton. He and Adil didn’t belong.

“We just need to find a new flat,” Toby mumbled one day, tapping a pen again a pad of paper. “Away from all this. Where people mind their own business. Then you don’t have to pose as anything at all.”

“People aren’t just going to accept two men living together,” Adil sighed, standing behind Toby and rubbing his shoulders. “No matter where we go.”

“Mmm…” Toby looked down at the pad of paper before him. The sheet was empty. “1957. We’re getting closer, Adil. I can feel it.”

Adil took the pad of paper and pen out of Toby’s hands and laid them to the side. “Come. We can think about this later. You need a break. You may be ridiculously clever, but nothing will result if you run yourself into the ground.”

***

Mid 1958, Toby and Adil moved into a quieter neighborhood. They had looked all over London for the perfect spot, finally finding a hidden gem of a neighborhood…it was quiet, and everyone seemed to keep to themselves. It was a nice townhome covered with ivy, and it was perfect for them.

It was long past the time that Adil could pose as a valet, but no one in the neighborhood cared much about their neighbor’s going ons. The two men had even chosen a house with only one bedroom, as they were sure no one was going to put any thought into it. Besides, the world was changing. As the world was moving to a new decade, more people seemed to be…waking up.

There were whispers about goings on. Not just in England, or Europe in general, but all over the world. People were changing…people were fighting and standing up for injustices. More and more people were taking risks. It was all over the news.

It was turning Toby into a dreamer once more.

***

“You know…next year, we’ll have been together for twenty years,” Adil thoughtfully took a swig of champagne. “Can you believe it?”

“No,” Toby laughed. “It seems so bizarre, doesn’t it?”

“Sometimes I don’t even know how we did it,” Adil passed the bottle to Toby. “Sometimes it seems like there was just…so much in the way.”

Toby took a sip of champagne before leaning over and kissing his lover lightly. “That’s what love is all about, my darling.”

The two men cuddled up close against their bed, only in their trousers as they had been doing for countless years now. “Someday I’m going to hold your hand in public,” Adil whispered against Toby’s lips. “Things are changing all over, Toby. I’m beginning to think that maybe you’re not just a dreamer.”

Toby laughed, setting the bottle down and straddling Adil’s waist. “Took you long enough,” he teased.

“How much longer?”

“Twenty minutes,” Toby nuzzled Adil’s neck. “Enough time to claim you as mine.”

Adil laughed lightly. “Oh Toby…you did that long ago. Now it’s just excess.”

***

The Halcyon bar hadn’t changed much over the years…even with the rebuilding after it was hit by the bomb. Freddie and Toby had decided to keep the hotel, now a landmark in the city, rather than sell it off. Emma was the manager now, and she worked it even better than her father had. Toby didn’t spend a ton of time there anymore, as he found the amount of negative memories rather overwhelming, but sometimes it was nice to go back for a drink.

Of course, Moore, the head barman, had nothing on Adil.

It was one of those days that Toby and Freddie were meeting for a drink. Emma was working on the big New Years gala coming up, an exciting party to ring in the new decade. Adil was watching Margaret, which the girl always liked. Adil was definitely her favorite babysitter.

“Won’t you please attend the party?” Freddie was begging Toby.

Toby remained steadfast. “Freddie, you know I can’t with Adil, and I certainly won’t attend without him-”

“You’ve found a million explanations for things over the years…how is this any different?”

“It just is.”

Freddie scrunched up his nose at his twin. “Well it’s still a few weeks out. Maybe you’ll think of something.”

Toby couldn’t help but let out a dark chuckle. “As much as I appreciate it, Freddie, it’s just not going to happen. Besides, Adil and I have our own traditions. That’s not just going to stop now.”

“Of course,” Freddie rolled his eyes. “The infamous mysterious New Years celebration.”

“It’s nothing special,” Toby laughed. “But it’s ours.”

Freddie nodded knowingly. “I think that’s what makes it so special, Toby.”

There were definitely moments where the twins were extra sensitive to each other. Toby had read studies on twins, and there was definitely a lot of interesting research. No matter how at odds Toby and Freddie had often been growing up, some things sort of…transcended all that. And Toby was grateful that he and Freddie were close now, closer than they’d ever been. It had taken a lot…but here they were.

Freddie glanced at his watch. “I should be getting back. I promised Margaret a special treat, since Emma has been working so much. And I have to figure out what that special treat is.”

Toby chuckled. “Adil and I are doing dinner. We found a nice little restaurant where no one asks questions.”

“You’ll call sometime before New Years?”

“Of course.”

The two brothers shared a hug, Freddie getting up first and heading towards the door. Toby watched him leave before getting up as well, a smile on his face.

***

No amount of pleading from Freddie or Emma could get Toby and Adil to the Halcyon New Years party. Their tradition had spanned decades, and neither man would want to ring in the New Year any other way.

They had splurged on a much fancier bottle of champagne than usual, not that the kind they had always drunk was cheap by any means. Toby had decided he wanted to _really_ treat Adil. He hadn’t had champagne this good since his father had been alive.

“I read an article about what’s going on in America,” Adil said thoughtfully. “Things are changing. People are fighting for a better world. We can do that here.”

“The sixties could be our time,” Toby mused, taking a sip of the champagne. “I suppose you never know.”

Adil rubbed the gold ring on Toby’s finger. “I know you were always the dreamer, but…I think it might be rubbing off on me,” he chuckled. “I’m beginning to think that… _maybe_ …”

“Mmm…it’s dangerous having to hear me all the time, huh?” Toby teased, rubbing his nose against Adil’s.

“Oh, very much so,” Adil said with a sly smile, taking the bottle of champagne and having another sip. “Not that I’d have it any other way.”

The nearest church from their new flat was farther from them than the one by their old flat, but they could hear the bells tolling midnight anyway. Adil set down the bottle of champagne, leaning in to kiss Toby, slowly, deeply, passionately.

“Happy New Years…and new decade, Toby,” Adil whispered against his lover’s lips.

“Happy New Years…I love you,” Toby whispered back.

“I love you, too,” Adil kissed him again. “Time to get ready for the sixties.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General thanks for all comments and kudos!


	4. 1960s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know what’s bizarre?”
> 
> “What’s bizarre, Toby?”
> 
> “We’ve been celebrating the New Year the same way for…decades. And it’s still as perfect now as it was then.”
> 
> “Yeah, except now you can’t hold your liquor as well,” Adil teased, taking the bottle of champagne from his lover.
> 
> “Oh, and you can?”
> 
> “Better than you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Life has been super hectic, and I spent two weeks in the hospital very ill, which certainly didn't help. But hopefully it's good enough to enjoy late anyway. ;)
> 
> SzonKlin is the best, betaing for me even when she doesn't have a ton of time. You're a rockstar. <3
> 
> And of course, no one is mine. Sad.

Adil came home to see Toby in the sitting room, his head in his hands. “Toby?” he ventured quietly.

Toby looked up, smiling slightly. “Hallo, Adil.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“You’re lying,” Adil raised his eyebrow. By now, he knew how to interpret all of his lovers looks. He was able to see through his words, and not let him get away with anything. Sitting on the arm of the chair Toby was currently occupying and rubbing his lover’s back, Adil asked again, “What’s wrong?”

Toby let out a defeated _huff_. “I’m turning forty in a month.”

There was a moment of silence before Adil let out a chuckle. “That’s it?”

“Isn’t that enough?”

1961 had been uneventful so far, and 1960 was completely smooth sailing. Adil figured he should have known this sort of thing would come up. “You’re blowing things out of proportion my love,” Adil kissed the top of Toby’s head.

“Too young to die, too old to join in the protests,” Toby sighed.

Adil rolled his eyes. “We could still join in the protests,” he said, nudging his lover. “Let those little ones see what they have to look forward to.”

“Mmm…” Toby pulled Adil off of the arm of the chair and into his lap. “Adil?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t care that you’re greying and getting little wrinkles in the corners of your eyes. You’re still the most gorgeous man in the world to me.”

Adil let out a chuckle. “You’re greying more than I am,” he leaned up to kiss Toby lightly. “But _you’re_ still the most gorgeous man in the world to me.”

The two sat in silence before Toby grabbed the newspaper from the table beside him and thrust it to his lover.

_Daily Mirror - March 10, 1960  
Conversion therapy for homosexuals is slowly starting to lose its speed. While the practice was once widespread throughout the UK, studies are finding it is becoming less and less so. Although it has always been more of a secretive process, to protect both the doctors and their patients, the nearly barbaric practices are coming to light. Could this be the end of an era and the start of something new? Progress is everywhere, and…continued on page 7…_

Adil looked at the article thoughtfully. “We got pretty lucky, didn’t we?”

Toby nodded. “Immensely so. I can’t imagine…” he looked down. “The practices _were_ barbaric. From what I heard.”

Adil curled up in Toby’s lap. “Maybe this is the year we’ll see some changes.”

“If not this year, then certainly soon,” Toby put the paper back on the table. “We should look into getting a television.”

With a laugh, Adil learned up to kiss his lover. “Progress indeed.”

***

“You know what’s bizarre?”

“What’s bizarre, Toby?”

“We’ve been celebrating the New Year the same way for…decades. And it’s still as perfect now as it was then.”

“Yeah, except now you can’t hold your liquor as well,” Adil teased, taking the bottle of champagne from his lover.

“Oh, and you can?”

“Better than you!”

Toby rolled his eyes, taking the bottle and straddling Adil’s hips. “Not able to hold my liquor or not…” he leaned in to whisper in Adil’s ear. “There are still plenty of things that I’m even better at now.”

Adil shivered slightly, his eyes shutting a fraction. “You’ve just gotten better with age,” he said with a shaky breath.

“Oh, I know I have,” Toby smirked, taking a sip from the bottle before kissing right below Adil’s ear. “Much, much better.”

Adil took the bottle and put it to the side, wrapping his arms around Toby’s neck and kissing him deeply. After a moment, he pulled away just a fraction. “I don’t care that you’re forty. Hell, I don’t care that _I’m_ forty for that matter. You still make me feel as good as you did when we were twenty-one.”

Toby gave his toothy grin that always drove Adil mad. “Is that so?”

“Mmm…” Adil murmured against Toby’s lips. “It’s so.”

“I have a good feeling about the sixties. Change. Progress. They wouldn’t be throwing those words about if it wasn’t so.”

Adil just curled up in Toby’s arms, his head resting against Toby’s chest, right over his heart. He always loved the feel of Toby’s heartbeat, how it reverberated through his whole being. Toby just held him tight.

The church bells rang midnight. “Already?” Adil laughed. “Maybe we _are_ getting old.”

Toby chuckled. “Oh God, don’t _say_ it!” he kissed Adil lightly. “Happy New Year, my love.”

“And Happy New Year to you as well.”

***

“Uncle Adil, Uncle Toby!” Toby and Adil had barely stepped into the house when their niece came careening at them. “You’re late!”

“We had matters to attend to, princess,” Adil ruffled her hair. Margaret had always had a strong attachment to Adil, more so than she ever did to Toby. “But we’re here now.”

Margaret gave Adil a big hug and then Toby. “Mum and dad said you two need to learn how to be on time.”

Freddie came into the foyer. “You know it’s true.”

Toby and Adil hugged Freddie. “It is _so_ not true,” Toby rolled his eyes. “We’re always on time.”

“I think you need a new watch,” Freddie said with a sly grin.

Toby rolled his eyes as they made their way to the kitchen where Emma was preparing food. “You two are late,” she shook a wooden spoon at them. “Why are you _always_ late?”

“You two exaggerate,” Toby shot back, putting the few parcels he was carrying down on the kitchen table. “We’re not _always_ late.”

“Always have been, always will be,” Freddie said, coming into the kitchen.

Margaret skidded in and latched onto Adil. “I’m thirteen today!” she said excitedly. “Can you believe it?”

“Nope,” Adil laughed. “I remember when you were born. You were this teeny tiny thing. Uncle Toby was afraid to hold you.”

“I was not!”

“You were!”

Toby scrunched up his nose. “I didn’t want to break you, Margaret, that’s all.”

“Well you can’t break me anymore! Now I’m thirteen!”  
“So you’ll be breaking me,” Toby teased his niece.

“God help us…we have a teenager,” Adil chuckled.

“Dinner time!” Emma called out, ushering everyone into the dining room. Toby hung back.

“Let me help you.”

Emma smiled. “I won’t say no to that one,” she chuckled. “Hey…are you okay?”

Toby’s face fell. “I hate how you can always tell when something’s wrong.”

“It’s a gift. So?”

“It’s just…Adil and I have been together for over twenty years now…I guess I always hoped the world would have progressed more by now. We know we have you guys, but Adil and I always wished we could have a family of our own. That sort of thing.”

With a thoughtful but slightly sad look on her face, Emma patted Toby’s hand. “The world will catch up to you. The thing about revolutions is that the best ones take time. You and Adil are paving the way.”

“I like to think homosexual men in the future will get what Adil and I never will.”

“I believe in it,” Emma pulled Toby into a tight hug. “Who knows…you may even see more than you think.”

Toby rolled his eyes. “And people call _me_ the dreamer.”

Freddie peeked into the kitchen. “What are you two plotting in there?” he teased.

“Your and Adil’s demise,” Toby shot back with a toothy grin.

“Rubbish,” Adil called from the other room. “You need us too badly.”

“He’s right,” Toby sighed.

“Speak for yourself,” Emma laughed, kissing Freddie lightly. “We’re coming,” she looked back to Toby when the two of them were alone again. “Just have a little faith, Toby. The world will get there eventually.

***

Long gone were the days when Adil was posing as Toby’s valet and rushing to answer the phone once it started ringing. Four rings passed before Toby got to the phone. “Hello?”

“Toby Hamilton.”

It was a voice that Toby hadn’t heard in years. Hadn’t thought about in years. But completely unmistakable. “Mr. O’Hara?” he gaped.

“Oh Toby…I think we’re far beyond that by now. Just Joe is fine.”

Adil wandered into the living room, giving Toby a curious look. His partner’s look was one of total shock, and Adil wanted to _know_.

“Joe, then,” Toby finally managed. “It’s been some time.”

The American gave a chuckle. “Well, I haven’t been back in London since leaving until now. But I thought I’d call you up. Are you and Adil still… _together_?”

Toby’s jaw hit the floor. “How did…how could you…how could you _possibly_ know about…”

Adil’s eyebrows furrowed. He opened his mouth, but Toby shushed him.

“Toby, I’m a journalist. I see these things, the things that no one else sees.”

“You’ve…always known?”

“Mmm.”

There was a moment of silence. Toby looked at Adil who was sitting on the very edge of an armchair, obviously straining to hear the other side of the conversation.

“Yes. Adil and I are still together,” Toby finally said softly. Adil looked ready to speak again, and again, Toby shushed him.

“Wonderful. I’d like to take you two out to dinner. I have news of the world.”

Toby looked over at Adil, who was back to staying perfectly still, hoping to hear who was on the phone. “We’re free on Thursday.”

“Great! There’s a place around the corner from the Halcyon…La Finn, I believe it’s called.”

“We know it.”

“I’ll meet you two there around six on Thursday.”

“We look forward to it. Until then.”

“Until then.”

Toby hung up the phone, looking over at Adil. “You will _never_ believe what just happened.”

***

Reaching La Finn, Toby and Adil made sure to stand a respectable amount away from each other. Joe was already in front of the restaurant, dressed sharp as ever.

“Mr. O’Hara,” Adil said warmly as they reached the man, both he and Toby shaking hands with him.

“Please, just Joe is fine,” he said with a nod and a smile. “It’s truly wonderful to see the two of you.”

“It’s great to see you, too,” Toby said with a smile. “Unexpected. I know you returned to America shortly after…”

Well, they all knew exactly when. Even Joe’s small amount of funding had been pulled after the bomb hit the Halcyon and he had been forced to return to America. Toby and Adil had talked of it over the years. They couldn’t help but wonder how the American was doing. Hopefully well off enough. He deserved it.

Neither Toby nor Adil expected to cross paths with him again.

“How have things been?” Adil inquired as they entered the restaurant. “We’ve always hoped you fared well after returning.”

“Oh yeah, things are going great,” Joe said with his easy-going smile. “I finally have a program on the television. Very high ratings.”

A dream come true, of course. “That’s wonderful to hear,” Adil smiled as the three men were seated. “We’re glad things are going so well. What brings you back to London, though?”

“You two.”

Toby and Adil looked at each other in confusion. “Us?”

Joe leaned in. “The signs. I’m sure you’re seeing them. The world is changing. And now homosexuality has been decriminalized in Illinois.”

A shocked silence fell over the table. Toby and Adil looked at Joe, eyes wide.

“It… _what_?”

“Who would have thought Illinois would be so progressive,” Joe mused. “But you see now…there’s hope. There’s _change_ in the air.”

“Joe…” Toby’s voice was filled with disbelief. “Adil and I have been together for over twenty years now. There’s never been any… _indication_ that things could change. Hell, I was beat up when some local kids saw a moment between us. There’s no way…”

Adil watched Joe pensively before turning to Toby. “Toby…this is _proof_. It has to start somewhere, right? Apparently, that somewhere is Illinois.”

Toby still looked skeptical. “I suppose you’re right…” he took his lover’s hand under the table. “Mr.- Joe…what has the reception been?”

“Some ugly. Some not so ugly. Pretty much what you’d expect, I would think. We’ve all been stuck in our ways for so long. There’s bound to be some backlash along with the celebrating.”

There was another hush as their waiter brought out their food. Toby picked at his chicken, obviously deep in thought. He kept glancing over at Adil…imagining a world where the two of them could be safe just being who they were. A world where Margaret could call Adil and Toby ‘uncle’ in public. And even though that sort of thing would take even longer, the decriminalization of homosexuality was a start, just as Adil had pointed out.

“Toby?”

Toby looked up, smiling slightly. “You’re right. It has to start somewhere.”

“If only we could pick up and move to Illinois,” Adil joked.

“It’s only a matter of time until it reaches here,” Joe said with a sly smile. “You two will get your life. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

Toby and Adil chuckled. “Thank you, Joe,” Adil said with a warm smile. “For…well, everything, I guess. From the beginning.”

“I know your love is considered criminal still,” Joe said thoughtfully. “And even more so when I was last here…but love is love, and it’s one of the most important feelings in the world. You two deserve the best…and hopefully that’s coming to you soon.”

The lovers glanced at each other with hidden smiles, tears welling in their eyes. There was hope…and in ways neither of them ever expected.

The rest of dinner was catch up about the rest of the goings on. Joe was saddened to hear about Lady Hamilton’s death, and asked where her grave was so he could leave flowers. He was slyly ecstatic hearing about Freddie and Emma and Margaret, but it was clear he was happy for them. And of course, Joe told Toby and Adil more about his television program. Adil admitted they had only just gotten a television set, and how they wished they could get a program from the states.

“Oh, it’s just a little of this, a little of that. Mostly news and commentary. But they like me, so why complain?”

Toby chuckled. “Of course they like you, Joe. You have the necessary charisma.”

Despite their chatter, there was still something hanging over their heads.

_Homosexuality decriminalized in Illinois? How could this be possible?_

Dinner was nice, though. As they paid the bill, Joe smiled at Toby and Adil. “I’m here another week. Would you like to do this again?”

“Absolutely,” Toby and Adil said at the same time.

“Wonderful. I’ll be in touch.”

***

As Toby and Adil dressed for bed that night, Toby found himself pausing as he buttoned his shirt. “Do you think it’s true?”

“I have no reason to doubt Joe,” Adil said firmly. “But we can do some research tomorrow if that would make you feel better.”

Toby nodded, crawling into bed. Adil curled up next to him, his head resting over Toby’s heart. “It’s just…I don’t know…it seems too good to be true.”

Adil traced invisible patterns over Toby’s chest. “Maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

Toby chuckled. “I suppose if it’s starting…it’s only a matter of a time until _we_ get it.”

“Of course it is. Who knows what the sixties hold?”

“I don’t care, as long as you remain at my side.”

Adil smiled, kissing Toby lightly. “It’s the only place I properly belong.”

***

Richard Garland died of a heart attack in the summer of 1965. No one was even sure how he had lasted as long as he did, but his funeral was a simple affair…befitting of the man. Toby, Adil, Freddie, Emma and Margaret stood by his graveside, led by a priest in prayer. Margaret was especially dark and solemn. Of course, she loved her grandfather very much.

The group stood even after the priest left. Margaret had latched onto Adil, shaking as her favorite uncle held her. Emma was subdued, though there were silent tears falling down her cheeks.

“To a good man,” Freddie finally said.

“To a good man,” the group echoed, Margaret the only one keeping silent.

The teenager looked to Adil, eyes swimming with tears. “Why do people have to die?”

“It’s a part of life,” Adil said soothingly. “Unavoidable. But you have to remember to carry them with you always. People never _really_ die as long as they’re remembered.”

Toby sent Adil a weary but small smile. His lover always knew what to say.

“We should go get some dinner,” Freddie finally said. He looked to Margaret. “We’ll come lay flowers on grandfather’s grave soon.”

Margaret nodded, detaching herself from Adil and going to her father’s arms. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

The small group of them were all each other had. Toby was eternally grateful for his family. Him and Adil being welcomed with open arms…no disgust, reporting them…just love between twins and their partners. Margaret, the most wonderful niece ever.

Why shouldn’t they get a happy ending?

***

“Nineteen sixty-six,” Toby took a nice long sip from the bottle of champagne. “ _God_ …where has the time gone?”

“I ask myself that all the time,” Adil chuckled, taking the bottle. “But then I look at you and I remember. And how great the time has been.”

“You’re so _soppy_ ,” Toby laughed, leaning in to kiss Adil. “Honestly, man, what am I going to do with you?”

Adil smiled slyly. “Oh, I can think of a few things.”

Toby rolled his eyes. “You still have the libido of a twenty year old, you know that right?”

“And you’re _so_ much better,” Adil rolled his eyes.

Toby laughed. “Touché.”

They passed the champagne bottle back and forth in silence for a bit. “I hear more states in America are decriminalizing homosexuality,” Adil finally said. “It’s in the paper. People are wondering if we’re going to be next.”

“Even if we are, will we ever really be… _safe_?”

“I don’t know, Toby,” Adil looked down. They both knew what the other was thinking…Toby getting beat up over a decade ago. It wasn’t something that just went away. “We may still have a long way to go, but we need a catalyst. Maybe it’ll be this year.”

Toby studied Adil thoughtfully, running his thumb over his lover’s jaw. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Toby,” Adil leaned in, making sure the champagne bottle was secure before kissing Toby. “Now, more than ever, is the time to be a dreamer.”

Toby laughed. “I hate it when you’re right,” he nudged Adil.

Adil joined in on the laughter. “I know you do.”

The church bells started ringing. Toby and Adil were silent and still as they waited for the final chime…midnight, the start of nineteen sixty-six.

There was cheering out in the streets. “Oh, to be young again,” Toby said wistfully. “The world is going to be so much better for them than it was for us. Even for Margaret. It still makes me cringe when I think about how you had to pose as my valet for so long.”

Adil took Toby’s hand and rubbed it with his thumb. “We did what we had to,” he said softly before smiling. “Now stop being such a downer and take me to bed.”

Toby laughed, finishing the champagne. “Yes, sir,” he stood, pulling Adil up. He cradled Adil’s face in his hands. “You’re the most gorgeous man in the world, and I love you more than anything.”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.”

The two laughed before kissing deeply, falling onto their bed. Some traditions would never be outgrown.

***

_Daily Mirror - April 11, 1966  
More and more, centers to cure homosexuality seem to be falling out of fashion. A new generation is rising up and fighting what has been a part of our country from the beginning. What will become of these centers, and the young men fighting them? Is there a possibility that homosexuality could be decriminalized in Britain? This reporter thinks that such a thing is…continued on page 11…_

Toby’s jaw was on the floor as he frantically turned to page eleven. It didn’t seem real, or plausible, or any such thing. He had always considered himself quite lucky…an aristocrat that had avoided being sent away. And now a generation of young men like him and Adil were rising up…making the splash Toby and his lover had never been able to.

“Toby?”

Adil came into the kitchen, grocery bags in hand. Toby looked up, flipping back to the first page of the article. “Adil…” he shoved the paper in Adil’s direction.

Adil read the article thoroughly, taking his time before flipping to page eleven to finish reading it. There was a look of shock on his face, his eyes wide and mouth ajar. “Toby…this could mean so much for us.”

Toby nodded enthusiastically. “What if this is it, Adil. The time we’ve been waiting for for almost thirty years?”

“It seems too good to be true.”

“And yet…”

The two men had kept in touch with Joe, seeing him on his visits to London and writing in between. There were unspoken words between Toby and Adil…maybe the journalist was right and the world really was changing. If it could happen in Illinois, it could happen in London too.

Of course, they’d still have to be careful. Toby and Adil knew a lot of people wouldn’t be happy about a change like that. They’d still face a lot of hatred and prejudice. But they wouldn’t end up in jail. There was a lot to be wary of…both men remembered the beating Toby had received a decade ago…and they knew there was always a risk of that happening again. But at least their relationship wouldn’t be illegal any longer.

“Adil?”

Adil looked up from the newspaper, smiling slightly at his lover. “We could get that better world we always dreamed of,” Adil said softly.

He thought about the early years of their relationship when they were young and hid in Toby’s hotel room or his tiny flat. Muffled laughter…dreams of a better world for them. Now they were older and knew better, but deep inside, the naïve dream of young men had always been there…dormant, perhaps, but there.

To be twenty-two and a dreamer again.

Toby laced his and Adil’s fingers together. “I’m just grateful I have a world with you,” he said softly. “And I wish I could give you so much more…but you always have my heart, and me, and everything we’ve built together. I love you so much, Adil Joshi.”

Adil pulled Toby in for a light kiss. “I love you so much too, Toby Hamilton. All I really need is you.”

The two sat in quiet, hands held tightly, knowing there was nothing more to say.

***

“This blasted thing!”

Adil was trying to adjust the television set while Toby looked on in amusement. After a good five minutes, Adil looked up. “You could _help_ , you know.”

“And miss you looking cute as anything trying to figure it out? No way in hell.”

Adil rolled his eyes, finally getting the picture on. He sat down heavily beside Toby on their small sofa, curling up against his lover. “Just you watch…it’ll be nothing but news again.”

_“And today marks the day sodomy laws have been lifted and homosexuality is decriminalized in England and Wales.”_

Toby and Adil both looked up sharply, suddenly very interested in the journalist on the television.

_“No longer a punishable offense, 1967 marks a monumental year for all men previously committing criminal acts.”_

“No…” Toby’s eyes were wide, glued to the television set. “It can’t be…it can’t…”

Adil was leaning forward, his expression matching Toby’s. He took his lover’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Toby…” he whispered.

The news report finished with some final words on the matter. It took a moment into the next story before Toby and Adil unfroze, looking at each other, tears in their eyes. “Oh my God,” Toby said softly. “Oh my _God_.”

The phone rang. For a few moments, neither Toby nor Adil could move to answer it. Finally, as the phone continued to ring, Toby got up, answering it. “Hello?”

“Did you see?”

Toby laughed jovially. “Yes, Freddie, we saw!”

Toby could hear the laughter bubbling up in his twin’s voice. “All those years of being a dreamer finally paid off!”

“I suppose,” Toby laughed. “God, Freddie…it almost seems too good to be true!”

“You’ve finally won everything you ever wanted, Toby,” the other man laughed. Toby could hear the wide smile on his face. “The world is yours!”

There were other things that Toby wanted, of course. Things he would never get, like getting married to Adil or having a family of their own, but this was a step in the right direction…especially for future generations who _would_ get all those things. For now, Toby just wanted to celebrate not having an illegal relationship.

“We’ll still have to be careful, Freddie,” Toby finally said. “A lot of people aren’t going to like this.”

“And a lot of people aren’t going to care.”

Toby laughed. “ _God_ , Freddie…I get to be with my partner in public. I get to hold his hand and be with him…not pretend we’re friends while secretly holding hands under the table. We can go out with you guys and Margaret can call Adil ‘Uncle Adil’…”

“What was that about being careful?”

“Shut it, Freddie.”

“We’ll all go out to dinner to celebrate. I know Margaret is getting ready for uni, but she wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

After making dinner plans, Toby and Freddie hung up, Toby curling up beside Adil. “Dinner with Freddie and Emma and Margaret tonight.”

“Mmm…I heard.”

Adil looked his forty-eight years, his hair graying and wrinkles starting to form. Toby knew he looked much the same. Even so, Adil was the most gorgeous man in the world. Toby would never think anything less of the man he shared his life with. No matter what, they were here together…graying, wrinkling, it didn’t matter. Because it was happening to them together. 1940 felt ages away, but at the same time, it was the most important year in the world.

“What are you thinking about?”

“You. Me. Us,” Toby leaned in, kissing Adil deeply. “All the years we have together…and spending our lives as such. How your hair is turning gray and your wrinkles more pronounced and you’re still the most stunning man I’ve ever seen. Everything we’ve been through, and all the more years we have to share.”

“You’re such a sop, Toby Hamilton,” Adil laughed, but there were tears in his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Adil,” Toby laughed, giving his partner another kiss. “So, _so_ much,” he continued with a laugh. “I’m going to take you out in public and hold your hand,” Toby gripped Adil’s hand. “Everyone will be able to see the man I love…the man I’m spending my life with…and no one can do a damn thing about it.”

With a laugh, Adil curled in close to Toby. “Whatever am I to do with you?”

“I don’t know…but perhaps we can take it to the front step.”

Adil rolled his eyes. “Not _quite_ what I had in mind.”

“Oh… _oh_. Well, then, I should say the bedroom will suffice. We must celebrate before we go out tonight.”

Both men laughed, enjoying being tangled on the couch just a little longer.

***

Over the next few months, Toby and Adil learned a lot about boundaries. Where it was okay to be open about their relationship, where it was better to continue hiding it. But things _had_ changed. Many people had shown to be valiant supporters. It was almost surprising in a sense, the amount of people that supported homosexuals. And it was certainly nice to be together in public, even discreetly, as a couple without the threat of arrest and jail.

Of course, there were people who were the complete opposite as well. Who shot the couple dirty looks and refused to serve them…people who spat at their feet and spewed threats. In a country that had been in one mindset for many, many years, Toby and Adil both found this to be expected. But they ignored it, or smartly found ways to avoid it if they could.

By the time New Year’s rolled around, Adil and Toby found they had more to be grateful for than not.

“It’s the dawning of a new time,” Toby said, a sentiment he often held close like a mantra. “And just think about the world Margaret is inheriting. It’s not so bad. Much better than anything _we_ had at that age.”

“You especially,” Adil nudged his lover. “I had very few options at that age.”

“Yes, well,” Toby flushed slightly, taking a sip of champagne. “I know I grew up privileged and spoiled. God knows things never would have changed if the bartender hadn’t kissed me in the wine cellar one night.”

Adil laughed, taking the bottle. “I’m proud to be the catalyst to your awakening.”

“But imagine if I _did_ have to marry,” Toby looked out the window distantly. “How terrible it would have been. Having to hide who I am… _God_ , I don’t know what I’d do.”

“It’s nothing to worry about,” Adil took Toby’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. “You escaped that fate. Look at us. It’s almost 1968 and we’re still here. _Together_ ,” he kissed Toby lightly. “I will always be grateful I took a chance on you, Toby Hamilton.”

The church bells chimed midnight and the two men stole a lazy kiss. “My life has always been intertwined with yours,” Toby said softly. “And I could never be more grateful.”

***

Places started popping up. Places like the secret bars, only they weren’t secret and there was nothing the police could do about it. Sure, some of them didn’t make it easy, but under the law, homosexual men were now safe.

Toby and Adil were still hesitant to go. It still seemed a bit risky. They decided to wait it out a bit…see how things went as time passed by. 1968 was still new for the decriminalization of homosexuality. Things still might not be one hundred percent safe.

Besides, where was there a place for two older gay men?

Things seemed to quiet as time progressed. Things weren’t necessarily _safe_ , but the world was reaching a point where it was getting better and better.

In the off season, in the cold, Toby and Adil visited the Pembrokeshire coast, able to hold hands as they walked the coast. They were mostly ignored, something that was beautiful to both of them. It seemed safer to go in the off season where there weren’t as many people around.

They arrived home in time to pick up a bottle of champagne and settle in to their New Year’s routine.

“Things are just going to get better and better, aren’t they?” Toby breathed into Adil’s neck. Adil shivered slightly at the feeling, threading his fingers through his lover’s hair.

“Of course they are. Look at what the past few years have brought us. These things that we never thought we’d have…never thought we’d see…”

“It brings me hope,” Toby said with a smile, taking a swig of champagne. “For us. For the future.”

Adil took the bottle, staring at it thoughtfully for just a second. “The world has changed so much, Toby. Its natural course is to progress.”

“Maybe…we can try one of those bars soon,” Toby said with a slight smile. “They seem to be quite safe.”

“Turning over a new leaf,” Adil laughed. “Yes, perhaps that’s something we can do.”

1969 felt full of promises…as the beginning of so many new things and the end of so many old. And when Toby and Adil really thought about it, they had beat so many odds to end up where they were. They had no idea what the future held, but it certainly looked promising to both of them.

***

Toby got a promotion at work. Adil quit bartending for a quieter life of writing. He wanted to document everything…his and Toby’s life, the world around them. He could spend hours at his desk, writing stories and snippets of life. Some of it would go into the scrapbooks the two men had meticulously kept, but some was just for the two of them. Adil wrote about the first time they made love, about his suicide attempt. Everything was filed away, though it would never be meant for anyone’s eyes but Toby and Adil’s.

Every day brought something new. Adil and Toby would go to the museum or the park, hand in hand. Things had quieted down some, after the initial wave that came with decriminalization of homosexuality. Most people didn’t care, or just turned their nose up if they did. Of course, there were still the angry type, but they were less and less.

The world was changing.

There were still fears, of course. Toby and Adil had decided to wait a little longer before visiting a pub for homosexuals. There seemed to be too many risks still…an angry citizen raiding the club or a stilted police man finding a reason to come in and lock everyone up…

In some ways, life was much easier. In some ways, it was infinitely harder.

_December 20, 1969  
Sometimes going out in public is a gamble. Today, Toby and I went shopping for Christmas gifts for Freddie and Emma and Margaret (last minute, but we’ve been so busy!) There was a wonderful display in a window with a jacket we thought Margaret would love, so we went into the store, inquiring about the jacket in the window._

_The salesman saw our clasped hands and grew stormy, telling us “our kind” weren’t welcome here, and we should “kindly” escort ourselves out. Well, Toby and I didn’t need to be told twice. The last thing we wanted was a scene._

_Even with our relationship not being illegal anymore, there’s still so much anger, so much prejudice. Is it always going to be like this? I hate the thought of future generations having to live like this. I suppose it happens in small steps, though. At the very least, Toby and I can go out in public without getting locked up. Things can only progress…I just hope I live to see the day where homosexuals have total freedom._

_I went back for the jacket alone, still feeling Toby’s phantom hand in mine._

***

Freddie and Toby had gotten a little too drunk on Christmas, and Toby was feeling it for days. He didn’t quite remember what happened, aside from the loud, off key Christmas carols he and Freddie had been bellowing out to the delight of their family. Emma, Adil and Margaret promised they’d never let the twins live it down.

“You know,” Toby said thoughtfully as he and Adil found themselves where they did every New Year’s, just in their trousers against the bed, passing a bottle of champagne back and forth. “It just reminds me how _old_ I am. Once upon a time, Freddie and I could have drunk that much and _not_ made total asses of ourselves. Now I’m fighting a hangover for days.”

“That’s life,” Adil shrugged, taking a sip from the bottle. “We grow old. Things effect us differently than they did when we were younger,” a wicked grin crossed his face. “Though I can’t say I’ve ever heard that version of _Good King Wenceslas_.”

Toby moaned, burying his face in his hands. “You are _wicked_ , Adil Joshi.”

Adil nuzzled Toby’s neck. “I am, aren’t I?”

With a roll of his eyes, Toby cradled the back of his lover’s head. “And I don’t know how I shall ever forgive you.”

Toby pulled Adil in for a deep kiss, intimate but simply loving at the same time. “I love you,” Toby pulled back slightly and whispered against Adil’s lips.

“I love you, too,” Adil said softly, brushing his lips against Toby’s lightly.

The church bells started their midnight chime, leaving Toby and Adil curled together, the champagne bottle off to the side and forgotten for the time being. “1970,” Toby said softly as the bells finished. “Are we ready for it?”

Adil laughed. “I think the better question is is 1970 ready for us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for the kudos and comments. They make me very happy. ^^


	5. 1970s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two of them continued their journaling and newspaper clippings. Homosexuality was old news by now, but Adil and Toby knew they had to continue writing about their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my Goddess, I'm so sorry this took forever.
> 
> Unbeta-ed at the moment so I apologize for mistakes and possible inconsistencies. It'll probably get fixed up at some point.
> 
> None of these lovelies are mine, blah blah.

Since homosexuality was decriminalized, Toby and Adil were discovering there were all sorts of surprises around every corner. None of it was an easy thing, but some things were absolutely wonderful.

When they were finally ready to go to a pub, they were greeted with men of all ages, still celebrating the freedom they finally had. Some of the younger ones were still boisterous, but the ones closer to Toby and Adil’s age were more subtle with their celebrations, just as the couple were. It was certainly nice to see they weren’t the only ones of their age there. It probably shouldn’t have been as much of a surprise as it was, but the others had needed to hide this whole time just as Toby and Adil had.

They were joined at their table by a couple who looked to be about their age, which was slightly terrifying but slightly exhilarating as well.

“These kids, huh?” one of the men said. He had graying dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes, very handsome. His fingers were interwoven with another’s, who was darker like Toby was. “They’ll never know.”

Toby and Adil smiled, squeezing each others hands and raising their glasses. “And we should be very glad for that,” Toby smiled. The other two men nodded enthusiastically.

“Jeremy Murphy,” the darker man introduced himself, shaking hands with Toby and Adil. “And my partner Nathanial Bishop.”

“Toby Hamilton and Adil Joshi.”

It still felt sort of…strange. The two men never thought they’d get to be in this place…safe and interacting with other gay men. It was early into 1970, and the world continued to change so much. It was all so beautiful. And above all, Toby and Adil loved that they had been together, and stayed strong, for thirty years.

The two couples conversed through the night, reminiscing about the old days, enjoying the fact that the younger couples had it so much better. Jeremy told a story about another man he had spoken with earlier, who had been bitter about his life, about the life the younger generations were getting that he didn’t.

“It’s so wrong,” Jeremy sighed. “Not saying we have to be _happy_ about how we had to live, but we need to be happy for the younger men. Celebrate their freedom, and the future they’ll have, and the generations after them…and every single following generation.”

“Do you two…well, Adil is…”

“Honestly, I think people care more about me holding hands with another man than my skin color,” Adil admitted with a chuckle. “Though I’ve lived fifty years being discriminated against because of my skin color…perhaps I just don’t notice it any longer.”

Toby squeezed his lover’s hand.

“How did you two manage to meet?” Nathanial leaned in curiously.

Toby and Adil both started to chuckle. “I was the head barman in his family’s hotel,” Adil smiled widely. “I played the fool and kissed him one night.”

“You _are_ a Hamilton of the Halcyon!” Jeremy exclaimed. “I didn’t grow up in London…we always stayed there when we came to visit family! I used to watch _both_ of you at the bar,” he laughed. “Who would have thought?”

Giving each other sly smiles, Toby and Adil laughed. “It’s a small world, isn’t it?”

“No kidding.”

The couples continued to chat through the evening over multiple drinks. They finished early, having another laugh over their age amongst many of the others at the bar, and exchanged phone numbers, planning to get dinner at some point.

Leaving the bar, Toby and Adil clutched at each other’s arms, sneaking smiles at each other. “Imagine that,” Adil finally said. “We have _friends_.”

***

There was a small restaurant close to the Halcyon that did a _phenomenal_ brunch. One Sunday a month, Adil, Toby, Jeremy, Nathanial, and another man their age, Joshua, did brunch together. They kept their ways of knowing each quiet, just enjoyed each other’s company. Joshua’s partner had been killed in an attack similar to what had happened to Toby…he had become a part of their group, a group that had its own life and breath.

Adil and Toby loved it.

They had never had this before. It was always too dangerous for them to have relationships like this, friends with other gay men. But this was life now. It had changed so much, and it was amazing.

The two of them continued their journaling and newspaper clippings. Homosexuality was old news by now, but Adil and Toby knew they had to continue writing about their lives.

“I feel _old_ ,” Emma sighed over dinner one night.

“We met Margaret’s boyfriend yesterday,” Freddie explained.

Adil and Toby both nodded mutely. They had already met Dennis the week before and had promised their niece they wouldn’t say anything. She had figured they were much safer than her parents for a “first” introduction. And according to her uncles, _even_ Uncle Adil, Dennis was wonderful and would be very well received.

“And he was lovely,” Emma clarified hastily. “But then I remembered Freddie and I were _married_ at that age! I can’t even believe how the world has changed!”

Toby chuckled. “Believe us, we know better than anyone.”

“Oh God…” Freddie frowned slightly. “You two really do.”

“Margaret hasn’t had a serious boyfriend yet!” Emma continued. “She doesn’t know what she’s getting into!”

“And we did, getting into serious relationships at that age?” Toby pointed out with a chuckle.

“Especially Toby and me,” Adil gave an amused smile.

Toby and Adil exchanged a covert look. Freddie and Emma were completely clueless…thank goodness. Margaret could share whatever she wanted with her parents…it had been very meaningful to her uncles that she had wanted them to meet Dennis first. Not only was a show of finding them safe, it was a huge leap of faith that Dennis would accept her homosexual uncles. He had been quite accepting of them, something that could still be quite surprising to Toby and Adil.

“Margaret has a good head on her shoulders,” Toby assured his brother and sister in law.

“But have you seen how she’s dressing these days!” Freddie fretted.

Toby rolled his eyes. “Freddie…Emma, you’re _fine_. Margaret is _fine_. Stop being crazy parents and let your twenty-one year old daughter live her life. We’re all here to look out for her.”

Freddie and Emma let out synchronized sighs, finally getting back to their cold food. Toby and Adil chuckled, finishing up theirs.

On the car ride home, there was some silence before Adil broached the subject they both had on their minds. “Do you think we would have made good parents?” he asked softly.

“I think we would have made great parents,” Toby sighed. “It’s one of the things I always wished I could give to you. Watching how you’ve always been with Margaret…sometimes I feel like I robbed you of…that.”

“You didn’t rob me of _anything_ , Toby Hamilton,” Adil shook his head. “A life with you is all I could ever _really_ ask for. We had Margaret, anyway.”

Toby looked ahead stoically. “Adil-”

“Don’t you dare, Toby. Maybe if we lived in a different time…but I don’t care. You’re all I want in this life.”

After another moment, Toby smiled, reaching over to take his lover’s hand. “I love you, Adil.”

“I love you too, Toby.”

The silence turned comfortable. There was no need to push things any further.

***

_December 31, 1971  
Toby has been moping about since our dinner with Freddie and Emma. I think he truly feels like he robbed me of having children. Which is so wrong in so many ways. I had to sit him down and talk him through all of it. I don’t want him feeling like that._

_Maybe the future will be different, and homosexuals can have children. Maybe we will even be allowed to get married. I think that one probably has to come first. But it’s true I don’t care about those things. I love Toby, and Toby loves me, and that’s the most important thing to me._

_I like to think homosexual men in the future can have these things. Everything Toby and I have been through, everything we’ve fought for…it’ll all pay off in the end._

***

“How long have we been doing this?”

Toby stopped short of taking a sip of the champagne, looking instead to his partner. “I don’t know. A long time,” he laughed. “We’ve lost track, haven’t we?”

Adil laughed, running his fingertips down Toby’s cheek. “I’m glad…throughout all the craziness, we still have this one thing that has been constant for so long.”

“And you’re the only one in the world I would want it with,” Toby took his sip from the bottle, handing it over. “I don’t care what anyone has to say. If you can’t do this with someone into your fifties, what’s the point?”

Toby’s hair was mostly grey now, Adil’s peppered. The wrinkles lining their faces were more prominent, though not terribly so. It didn’t matter…after all these years, neither man had seen anyone more handsome than the other.

The New Years tradition had spanned the years, and bedrooms, in locations all over the city. And sure, perhaps neither of them could remember how or when it had started, but it was more a trivial question at this point.

“Every day I consider myself lucky that I get to grow old with you.”

“As do I.”

Laughing, Toby and Adil leaned in, sharing a deep kiss. “You are my everything, Toby Hamilton,” Adil muttered against Toby’s lips. “Thank you for everything you’ve given me.”

Toby just went the distance, pressing his lips to his partner’s again.

***

Adil walked into the study, finding Toby elbow deep in papers, his glasses so far down his nose they were threatening to fall off. It was an adorable sight, and Adil stood in the doorway for a long moment, just watching Toby work. There was nothing that could make him happier than knowing he got to grow old with the man before him. They had been together for so long now…Adil couldn’t picture himself without Toby. “Toby?”

Toby started, his glasses falling and his elbow hitting the edge of the table. “Oh God…is it dinner time already?”

“I thought you might like to help cook,” Adil laughed at his partner. He held up a bottle of wine. “I found a nice red for us. Thought it could be fun.”

“If it involves stripping, you can count me in.”

Adil rolled his eyes. “If that’s your first thought, I’m obligated to inform you that you’ve been working far too hard, my love.”

Arranging his papers and rubbing his elbow, Toby glanced around for his glasses, spotting them and bending to pick them up. “I’ve been with the university forever. Not that they take advantage of me, and I did just get a raise, but I probably have been working too hard. You would know,” Toby chuckled, pecking Adil’s cheek lightly. “You _are_ the one who has to put up with me all the time.”

“I deserve an award for that,” Adil laughed, taking Toby’s hand and leading them to the kitchen. “Over thirty years with _you_?”

“You are a devil, Adil Joshi,” Toby laughed. “An absolute devil!”

Adil smiled slyly. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he chuckled, finding the bottle opener as they got into the kitchen and pouring two glasses of wine. “No idea at all.”

They clinked their glasses in a toast, chuckling the whole time. On the radio they kept in the kitchen, a slow song came on…a slow song they had heard a million times before, a different crooning voice. “Remember when Sonny and Betsey would play this?” Toby asked dreamily, his eyes far away.

Of course Adil remembered. He would watch Toby from behind the bar, wishing he could take the other man to the dance floor and hold him close to Betsey’s low voice.

He set his wine glass down, taking Toby’s and setting that down as well. Offering his hand, Adil gave a sly smile. “May I have this dance?”

Toby beamed, taking Adil’s hand. He held his lover’s left hand and placed the other on his waist, holding him close.

For many years, Toby had been forced into a lot of dancing with a lot of “eligible” young women. He had hated every second of it. Even if his mother had been accepting later down the line, Toby was pretty sure she wouldn’t have been back then. Not to mention his father’s presence before he died.

 _God_ he was lucky he was never forced into marriage.

For a glorious few minutes, Toby held Adil close, the two of them moving in perfect rhythm to the song. The radio didn’t play the older songs as often, so it was lucky in the first place the couple had caught one…especially one they knew and brought back some memories. Of course, the song had to end eventually. Sonny and Betsey had been killed when the bomb hit the Halcyon, and it was over thirty years past that.

Adil smiled up at Toby, kissing him lightly as the song came to an end. “We should do that more often,” he said impishly. “We don’t dance with each other nearly as much as we should.”

“Mmm,” Toby hummed thoughtfully. “I must agree. We’ll get some records for the record player.”

They held each other close for a couple more minutes. Adil kissed Toby again. “We should get started on dinner.”

“I don’t want to let go of you.”

“Save it for later.”

Both men laughed, untangling from each other.

Toby ending up doing more sitting at the kitchen table than anything. His leg bounced as he sipped his wine. “Take off some clothes,” he teased Adil. “If I’m just sitting here, I should get a show.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Adil rolled his eyes. “We’re respectable adults now. We don’t act like children.”

Toby pouted. “ _Adil_!”

“Dinner is ready anyway,” Adil laid plates out on the table. When it was just the two of them, they ate casually at the kitchen table. The radio was still on, volume softer, a more modern song on. The two kept looking over at each other, sending the other sly looks.

Sometimes they felt as if they were in their twenties again.

“We could dance at the club,” Toby said thoughtfully.

“To the music they choose to play there? I don’t think so.”

Toby laughed. “You’re even more of an old man than I am. I bet Margaret could help us learn to dance to that music. We are the _cool_ uncles.”

“We’re the _only_ uncles.”

“We’re still cool.”

Adil took Toby’s hand, holding it tight for a moment. “I don’t give a fig about any of it. We can dance in the pub if you want to. We had to live too long not doing so…we’ve paid our dues.”

With a wide smile, Toby leaned over and kissed his lover. “That we have. We’ll find more opportunities to dance…” he looked out the kitchen window absently. “For so many years, I wanted nothing more than to pull you out from behind the bar and take you onto the dance floor at the Halcyon. I wanted to show the world that I was yours and you were mine. I wish I could have…” he trailed off, frowning slightly. “I wish I could have…”

“Hey…” Adil said softly, taking Toby’s chin and looking into his eyes. “I’m sure Emma wouldn’t mind if we had a dance at the Halcyon one night. I know it’s late, but it was all rebuilt the same…and now we can’t be arrested for doing so.”

Toby seemed to shine, tears in his eyes. “Yes…let’s do that. Better late than never.”

The two shared a chaste kiss before returning to their dinner. There was a new feeling in the air, though…a similar feeling to ones the two men had experienced over the years. Things had gotten better for Toby and Adil, for people like them. It was a beautiful feeling…and although all they could _really_ do by ways of being married was wear the gold rings they had given each other, sometimes there really was hope that sometime in the future, that could change as well.

***

“Emma?”

“Adil! Hello! I wasn’t expecting a call from you…is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine…I have a request, something I want to do for Toby for his birthday.”

“Oh…of course!”

Adil explained how he wanted to have a dance with Toby at the Halcyon. He gave Emma a briefing of what had brought this on, and the song he would like to be played. Emma agreed with extreme enthusiasm, gushing for a good amount of time about how cute her brothers in law were, how Freddie needed to take a page from their book, so on and so forth. Adil just chuckled, making funny remarks about the Hamilton men, making Emma laugh even more.

“I’ll bring Toby over around nine,” Adil said, once they had sorted everything out. “Thank you, Emma.”

“Of course, Adil. This is so sweet of you. Toby’s a lucky guy.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one.”

“ _Sap_ ,” Emma laughed. “I’ll see you guys Saturday night.”

***

“Where are we going?” Toby asked curiously as Adil helped him pick out clothing for the night. “Weren’t we just staying in?”

Adil straightened Toby’s tie, something that always seemed needed. Toby was _hopeless_ when it came to his tie…and it always brought Adil back to the first kiss they had shared in Toby’s room.

“I have a surprise first,” Adil smiled. “It won’t take long.”

Toby shrugged. “Alright. But I still want to make love a lot when we get home.”

“I promise,” Adil laughed.

As Adil drove the car the familiar route to the Halcyon, Toby’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are we going to the _Halycon_?”

“You trust me, right?”

“With my life.”

“Then trust me with your birthday surprise, too.”

The bar and lounge of the Halcyon had been reconstructed just as it had been before the bomb, and Emma had decided to keep it that way, a historic place in town that still had all the glories of its heyday. It drew crowds from all over, all ages who had experienced it, both in its original glory and how it often seemed frozen in time. It was a landmark…Emma had lived up to her father’s legacy maintaining it.

Toby and Adil didn’t visit as often as they knew they should. For as many good memories they had at the hotel, there was a lot of bad as well. Besides, they were some of the ones who remembered it all…no band could ever have a pianist like Sonny, or a singer like Betsey. The first time they had gone into the building, all those years ago, Toby had nearly had a panic attack, expecting D’Abberville to turn the corner at any time. To this day he would never go near his old rooms, the memory of sending Adil away brought to the surface every time he did.

“It’s okay,” Adil said softly, glancing over at Toby who was gripping the dashboard of the car. “We’re just going to be in the lounge. Remember…the place we fell in love?”

Toby huffed softly and smiled slightly. “You were the cutest man I’d ever laid eyes on. I lived for the moments our fingers touched over a drink. I didn’t even care that you were just the Indian barman. I’m so grateful you took a chance on me.”

“As am I. I was so terrified about what was going to happen…after.”

There was a lot about going back to the Halcyon that was painful, but there was plenty of positive nostalgia, too. As they parked and entered the hall, Toby looked around, still looking a little hesitant. Adil took his hand, leading him into the bar and lounge area.

Toby couldn’t help but smile slightly. The stage was empty for now, but the bar was busy, the bartenders wearing the same pressed white suits they always had. A faraway look appeared on Toby’s face…Adil knew exactly what he was thinking of and took his hand. “It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?”

“It really has,” Toby chuckled.

Margaret was the first to approach him, hugging Toby tight. “Happy birthday, Uncle Toby! You’re so old!”

“You really know how to charm ‘em, don’t you?” Toby laughed, hugging his niece. “But thank you anyway. Is Dennis here?”

“Getting questioned by dad,” Margaret rolled her eyes, going to hug Adil. “Maybe you guys can step in on that one.”

“We’ll do what we can,” Adil promised with a laugh.

Emma came over, the ghost of a laugh on her face. “That poor boy,” she chuckled, hugging Toby and Adil. “Happy birthday, Toby.”

“Thanks, Emma. What is all this?”

Emma looked over at Adil who gave his lover a warm smile. “I promised you a dance at the Halcyon. Emma helped me arrange everything for it.”

Toby felt tears burn his eyes. He embraced Adil, burying his face in the shorter man’s shoulder. “You’re the most amazing man in the world, you know that?” he said, holding him tight. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve the world, Toby Hamilton,” Adil said warmly, kissing his forehead. “And I’ll do my best to give it to you for the rest of our lives.”

The band came onstage, warming up before breaking into the song Adil had requested they start with…the night Toby and Adil’s hands had first brushed over a drink. “You remember it too?” Toby’s eyes were still brimming with tears.

“Of course, silly,” Adil offered his hand. “May I have this dance?”

***

Toby and Adil had never thought they would be allowed any sort of domesticity in their life. They had never thought they would be allowed _anything_ constant in their lives…aside from fear and having to hide everything they had, everything they were. The world was changing more and more every day, though. And it was beautiful.

It was New Years Eve, the clock close to striking midnight, the first day of 1975.

The two had changed their tradition slightly, as it was getting hard to spend hours sitting on the floor. Toby and Adil still had their bottle of champagne, though. They relaxed in their bed, just in trousers as usual as they leaned against the headboard.

Toby nuzzled Adil’s neck, inhaling his lover’s scent deeply. “Isn’t it funny how some things have just…never changed?” he said softly. Adil shivered slightly as Toby’s warm breath tickled the light hairs on the base of his neck.

“With all the change we’ve gone through over the years…” Adil buried his face in Toby’s hair. “Yes, it is funny. And nice.”

“We’re entering into it being halfway through the decade,” Toby marveled slightly, pulling back to look into Adil’s eyes. “Sometimes I’m still amazed we’ve made it this far. With how our world has been. I wish…”

Adil kissed Toby deeply before he could finish the negative thought. He had learned long ago it was the best way to do so. “Shut up, Toby,” he said with a smile against his partner’s lips.

Toby let out a breathy chuckle. “Yes, sir.”

“How long until midnight?”

“Er…” Toby looked over at the clock. “Twenty minutes. Think we can make it?”

Adil laughed and took a deep drink of champagne. “Come on, Toby…we’re not _that_ old!”

“I’m going to be fifty-five this year!” he took the champagne and took a sip.

“That’s not old, Toby. We still have many years together. Drinking champagne and-” Adil was cut off as Toby kissed him deeply, barely processing the champagne bottle having been put on the bedside table. Adil threaded his fingers through Toby’s hair, pulling him closer.

“I’m going to do this forever,” Toby said breathlessly, kissing Adil passionately again. “ _God_ , you’re gorgeous…and I love you so much.”

“I love you too, To-”

By the time midnight hit, both men were naked, back to their champagne and the afterglow of sex.

“1975,” Toby mumbled, still cuddled in as close to Adil as he could be. “Almost halfway through the decade.”

“Shut up,” Adil rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you want, Adil,” Toby smiled toothily, a sly glint in his eyes. He put the champagne down again, kissing his lover. “I’ll always be here to give it to you.”

Shaking his head with a laugh, Adil kissed Toby lightly. “Thank god for that. I can’t imagine a life without you, Toby Hamilton.”

“You’ll never have to live it, Adil Joshi.”

The two fell asleep cuddled up on their bed, the champagne bottle not quite empty. Toby and Adil didn’t need it. They had other promises they had kept that night.

***

Brunch that Sunday was more solemn of an affair than usual. It was the anniversary of Joshua’s partner’s death…he had tried to get out of their monthly meeting, but his friends wouldn’t let him. Adil had been the one to completely convince him, his gentle tones telling his friend that he needed the company that day more than ever.

They all wore mourning black in memory, although none of them had ever known the man. Toby had been slightly aloof…he did worry that Joshua would be angry at him for surviving the type of attack that had killed his friend’s partner. But once Joshua started relaxing some over mimosas, he assured his friend that he could never be angry. In fact, he was grateful in a way…he wouldn’t wish the feelings on anyone, especially someone as kind and thoughtful as Adil.

“The world we live in…” Joshua pushed his eggs around on his plate. “He would have liked to see how far we’ve come. That we can live in a world where…well, I suppose it’s not perfect, but we can live so much differently than we could once upon a time.”

The man never spoke his partner’s name, and no one ever asked.

“We’re the ones that paved the way,” Nathanial said thoughtfully. “The future will have it better thanks to us.”

“I still think we’ll be allowed to marry someday,” Toby said thoughtfully. “Maybe not in our lifetime, but someday.”

“My dreamer,” Adil looked over at Toby lovingly.

The men around the table chuckled. They were used to Toby’s comments like that, Adil’s loving looks, as if Toby was the only man in the world that mattered at all. They knew that Toby and Adil would never have it as easy as the rest of them, as a mixed race couple. That was still rather taboo amongst regular couples, though Toby and Adil insisted most of what they faced was more for being gay than being a mixed race couple. Everyone had their priorities, they supposed.

Toby and Adil had told them all about how they had gotten together…what they had gone through in the earliest times together, and how they had managed to pull through, to remain together after everything. Toby had cried when he remembered finding Adil so lifeless, so afraid that he was too late.

They shouldn’t have made it. But they had, and that made it even more worth it in the end.

There was still war. There was still hatred, and terrible people in the world. There was so much to be frightened of. But also so much to be grateful for.

“Someday homosexual couples will be no different in any way,” Jeremy agreed. “They’ll be able to marry and have children…I know most of us don’t feel that way, but I know it. I just _know_ it.”

“There will always be bigots,” Joshua said quietly, looking down at his plate.

“But that’s unavoidable,” Jeremy pointed out. “World War Two ended _decades_ ago and there are still Nazi sympathizers. People who call black people apes. There’s always going to be someone hating someone else for their differences.”

“And people who will fight for the right side of the cause,” Toby gave a half smile. “If I can be in a mixed race homosexual relationship…well, the sky’s the limit, isn’t it?”

“He really is a dreamer,” Joshua gave his first smile of the day.

Adil rolled his eyes. “I’ve been putting up with this for over thirty years.”

“Good man,” Nathanial laughed. “I don’t know how you do it,” he joked.

“The sex is good,” Toby said, not missing a beat.

Joshua laughed the hardest, though their whole table drew some odd looks from other diners. Toby just shrugged, though there was a giant smile on his face. “I only speak the truth,” he said. “Adil will tell you.”

“Just not in public,” Adil laughed.

As the group parted shortly after, Joshua gave all his friends hugs. “Thank you,” he said to all of them. “You were right…I needed to get out of the house. I’m so grateful to have friends like you.”

“And we’re lucky to have you,” Adil said in earnest.

Toby and Adil walked back towards the car. “We are lucky,” Toby said thoughtfully. “So lucky. When I think about…”

“I know,” Adil said softly. “And I know there’s only a bit more safety these days, but we’ll be okay. We’ve gotten through the worst of it, I’m sure of it.”

“Me too,” Toby leaned over, kissing Adil lightly. “I never thought we’d get anything near a _happily ever after_. But we did, my love.”

“We did. I don’t know _who_ I have to thank for that, but I thank them every day.”

It was a retrospective car ride, but a needed one. The two men curled up together when they arrived home, just happy with what they had…it was more than they ever thought they would.

***

For the first time in many years, Toby and Adil found their new years tradition in jeopardy. Margaret had shown up that evening in tears. Dennis had broken up with her, and she was devastated. She had sat between her uncles most of the evening, crying into Adil’s shoulder. “I don’t want mum and dad to know yet…they’re my _parents_!”

“You have to tell them eventually, Margaret,” Toby reminded her.

“They’ll just tell me that I still have time, and he just wasn’t the right one and…all of that. You guys won’t.”

Adil and Toby exchanged guilty looks over their niece’s head. They had both been ready to say just that.

“Margaret-”

“But mum and dad got married younger than I am! And you two have been together that long!”

“It was a different time, Margaret,” Adil said soothingly.

“So if you could go back and do it again, you would?” the girl snapped. She looked down abashed. “I’m sorry, I just…”

“Your parents _and_ the two of us had some very rocky times,” Toby said softly. “It wasn’t easy street. Maybe you and Dennis will come back to each other, maybe not. Don’t let this ruin your life, Margaret.”

The look on the young woman’s face was one they had seen plenty of times. She _was_ a young woman now, but Adil and Toby would always remember her through the years. That was their job, wasn’t it?

Toby slipped her a couple bills. “Go get a drink with some friends,” he said. “On me. You need to be out and having fun.”

Margaret looked up, wiping her eyes and smearing her makeup. There was a small hint of a smile on her lips. “Are you supposed to be encouraging that, Uncle Toby?”

“Of course not,” Toby said with an airy wave of his hand. “But I am anyway. Don’t tell your parents…they’ll kill me.”

“If I don’t first,” Adil gave him a slight glare.

Toby shrugged. “Come on, Margaret. It’s New Year’s Eve. Go have some fun. Put on something cute…and er…might want to do your makeup again.”

Margaret gave a watery laugh. “Thanks, Uncle Toby,” she kissed his cheek. “I love you,” she kissed Adil’s cheek as well. “Love you too, Uncle Adil.”

The girl pocketed the money and cleaned up in the bathroom. Pausing on the doorstep as she pulled on her scarf and gloves, Margaret looked at her uncles. “What do you two always do on New Years? I’ve never seen you guys after a certain point.”

“That’s for us to know and you not to know,” Toby said, kissing her forehead. “Go have fun, Margaret. We’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Adil was already in the kitchen, opening the champagne bottle. “You’re terrible, Toby,” he shook his head as the man entered, though he couldn’t keep the slight smile off his face.

“Nah,” Toby wrapped his arms around Adil from behind. “It’s what she needed.”

“Getting drunk?”

“Yes. With her friends. And far away from us.”

“She’ll be fine, right? I mean…I can only imagine break ups are terrible, but she’s young…times _have_ changed…even within our generation people are getting divorced. Freddie and Emma…the two of us…just because _we_ made it…” Adil looked concerned.

Toby kissed Adil’s neck lightly. “Plenty of fish in the sea. Especially for a smart girl like her. She’ll be fine.”

“We’ll check in with her tomorrow.”

“Of course,” Toby took the champagne bottle. “And she’ll be hungover, but just fine,” he took a sip of the drink. “Get your mind off of it. We have to ring in the end of the middle point of the decade. Goodbye 1975!”

Adil laughed. “You have a one track mind, you know. That’s why _I’m_ the favorite uncle.”

“I think you’re just more likable than me.”

Adil turned around in Toby’s arms, pulling him in for a kiss. “That, too. Come on…let’s go get ready to ring in the new year.”

***

The second half of the decade went much like the first had, not that Toby and Adil expected anything else. They had been doing this for so long now…their lives were so intertwined it still just felt so _natural_. Along with everyone else around them…Freddie and Emma, Margaret, who had graduated uni and had gotten a job with the Daily Mirror. They still brunched with Jeremy, Nathanial and Joshua once a month.

They really had fallen into a sort of… _domesticity_.

The seventies seemed like the dawning of a new era for the younger generation. Even Margaret was part of one of the new countercultures…starting with the teen years, even the boys were wearing tighter, more revealing clothing, calling themselves bisexual. Toby and Adil saw it on the news every day, heard about it from their niece. And of course, the group that called themselves _punks_. It was all very confusing to the older generation.

Margaret had a new boyfriend, and she wanted her uncles to meet him first again. Of course, the two considered themselves very liberal…how could a biracial, homosexual couple be anything but? But when they saw Margaret’s new boyfriend had piercings all over his ears and face, even Toby and Adil were a bit shocked.

Sometimes it was easy to forget just _how_ the world changed over time. They had always had to fight their own battles…now kids had glitter in their hair and earrings in their face.

“Sort of makes you wish for the forties in some ways,” Toby mumbled crossly as they passed a crowd of girls in midriff tops and short skirts. “I don’t understand.”

“I think it’s progress,” Adil laughed. “It’s not all that bad. Kids will be kids, right?”

Toby raised an eyebrow at his lover. “I think the world just scares me sometimes. Like we’re… _old_ now.”

“We’re hardly _old_.”

“I just think…we’re looking at the younger generation the way our parents looked at us. It took so long for us to have our rights, I just…I don’t know, Adil. Just promise me you’ll always be with me…even if the world has gone completely crazy.”

Adil laughed, rubbing the gold ring on Toby’s ring finger. “I promised that a long time ago, Toby. Nothing has changed.”

“Thank God,” Toby kissed his lover gently. “I don’t know how you put up with me sometimes.”

“It’s this face,” Adil teased, patting Toby’s cheek. “I could never say no to this. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Toby chuckled. “Come on…take me home and I’ll show you how _not_ old I am.”

***

It seemed fitting for Toby and Adil to celebrate the ten year anniversary of homosexuality being decriminalized with a nice dinner out…as a couple. They went to a fancy restaurant and ordered a nice bottle of champagne.

The couple held hands across the table, the candlelight glinting on their gold rings. The way Toby and Adil gazed at each other was unmistakable.

No one noticed.

No one cared.

“You know…” Toby picked at a piece of bread. “Sometimes I can’t even believe it’s been ten years. Sometimes it’s hard to remember we couldn’t do this for most of our lives.”

“Getting complacent, Toby?” Adil chuckled.

“Perhaps. Or just staying with the times,” Toby shrugged. “Honestly, I think the world has forgotten. Things have changed a lot over the past decade.”

“And some things haven’t. People still hate me for my skin color.”

“Some people always will. Some people will always hate us for loving each other.”

“We have a long way to go.”

“We just can’t forget how far we’ve come,” Toby raised his glass. “To ten years of not being criminals for loving each other.”

Adil clinked his glass against Toby’s. “And to many more.”

The restaurant was dimly lit, romantic, nice. There were candles on the tables and flowers in the windows. Most of the diners were couples, keeping quiet and to themselves. The food was exquisite, the champagne nicer than Toby and Adil’s traditional New Years champagne. But both men thought this was something to celebrate. There was a certain understanding hanging in the air. They were lucky to have what they had…they were lucky they had made it at all.

And they knew it.

“I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. I love you so much, Adil Joshi.”

“And I you, Toby Hamilton. And it’s so nice having one less thing to worry about.”

Toby laughed. “I know it’s been ten years, but…sometimes I forget.”

“I do as well at times,” Adil chuckled. “Eventually we will.”

“Doubtful,” Toby shook his head with a wide smile. “But who cares? I certainly don’t.”

Adil leaned across the table, pressing a soft kiss to Toby’s lips. “Me neither. I never have, and I never will.”

Life would never be perfect. There would always be _something_. But life was fleeting, and there were so many blessings…they tended to outweigh the not so great things, something both Toby and Adil knew. The past ten years had proved that things could always improve. And Toby may have been a dreamer, but perhaps that really wasn’t such a bad thing.

***

Sometimes, Toby would look around him and wonder if the world had gone completely insane around him. He knew he wasn’t old, but times had changed so drastically. Or maybe he just didn’t see it until now.

“Toby?”

Toby looked up. “Oh, Adil…I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“You were pretty lost in thought. Your coffee has gone cold.”

With a chuckle, Toby took an experimental sip of his coffee. “It certainly has. I’ll just go-”

“You’re not getting out of it that easily,” Adil raised an eyebrow. “What were you thinking about?”

Toby sighed. “Margaret’s boyfriend has an earring in his nose and safety pins on a leather jacket.”

“I believe it’s called punk.”

“I believe it’s called the world has gone to hell.”

Adil laughed. “Oh Toby…” he kissed the top of his lover’s head. “I’m pretty sure, as a gay man who wasn’t allowed to be a gay man for most of his life, that you don’t get to decide when the world has gone to hell.”

After a moment, Toby smiled and chuckled faintly. “You have a point.”

“The eighties are just a couple years away…keep up with the times… _old man_ ,” Adil teased, leaning in to kiss Toby.

Toby let out a groan. “Oh, don’t you dare, Adil Joshi.”

“You’re so cute when I tease you.”

“Just go get me some more coffee,” Toby kissed Adil lightly again. “I have to finish up this paper before I can even think about doing anything else.”

Adil nodded. “Of course,” he took Toby’s mug. “I’ll be right back,” he returned with a fresh cup of coffee, putting it in front of his partner. “Toby?”

Toby looked thoughtful, looking up at Adil with a sly grin. “Maybe _I_ should get an earring in my nose as well.”

“Just be a support from the sidelines on this one, Toby,” Adil laughed. “You’ll be thanked all around.”

“If you insist,” he laughed. “I’ll ask Margaret, just in case.”

With a roll of his eyes, Adil went to exit the study. “Finish your paper. I want dinner to be on time.”

***

Christmas of 1979 was an affair. Margaret showed up with an earring in _her_ nose and an engagement ring on her finger. Her parents and uncles had pointedly ignored the earring in her nose, choosing instead to celebrate her engagement. Because, for as much as they hated the look, Eugene had proved to be a good guy who loved Margaret very much.

There was a lot to celebrate. The world was changing, growing…there were still things that Adil and Toby couldn’t even understand…if someone had told them almost forty years ago that they’d be able to be out and about holding hands, being a couple, they would have laughed in that person’s face. But here they were.

And of course, there were the things that would never change. Their history…the way they felt about each other…knowing that they were meant to be together forever. Toby and Adil would watch Freddie and Emma together, too…they were just as in love as ever, too. Even if they hadn’t had a forbidden love the way Toby and Adil had, they had broken through many barriers to be together. To have a family.

Lady Hamilton and Mr. Garland when they were alive. All the people that had come in and out of Toby and Adil’s life. The family they had found that wasn’t bound by blood, but by something stronger.

The 1980s could only prove to be better. If people could walk around with earrings in their nose, in their lips, who knew what else could happen in the upcoming decade.

***

“Hey Adil?”

Adil looked over at his partner after taking a sip of champagne. “Hmm?”

“Everything always works out the way it’s meant to, doesn’t it?”

“I like to think so.”

“For so long…trying to pretend I wasn’t attracted to other boys, wishing I could do what my parents wanted me to do…I thought I was going to have a miserable life. That I’d be forced to marry, to have children…I’d end up one of those homosexuals in the park found dead. And then you came into my life, and…”

Adil cradled Toby’s face in his hands. “We were the lucky ones,” he said softly.

Toby nodded. “We were the lucky ones. And now…I get to spend my life with you. I get to say, yes, the gorgeous head barman kissed me in September of 1940 and my life could never be the same. I love you so much, Adil Joshi. I wouldn’t want a different life for anything.”

“I feel the same,” Adil chuckled, pressing a light kiss to the corner of Toby’s mouth. “Not that I would have been _forced_ to marry, but I don’t know what my life would have looked like if I hadn’t taken such an idiotic move and kissed you that night.”

Toby laughed. “It was a bit idiotic, wasn’t it?” he teased. “But at least you got it right.”

Adil shrugged. “I had a lot of time to observe you,” he admitted, flushing slightly. “And then that first time your fingers ran against mine…”

“It’s been forty years. I can barely believe it. I think my life has always been you. Moving me on the right path for us to be in the right place at the right time in the wine cellar.”

“Toby Hamilton talking about fate…what _has_ the world come to?”

“I blame you. I blame it all on you.”

Both men laughed, the bells in the nearby church ringing midnight. New Years was the only time the bells tolled anymore…a nice bit of nostalgia for them.

Toby leaned in to kiss Adil deeply, slowly. He pulled away, rubbing his nose against the other man’s, matching giant grins on their faces. “Happy 1980, Toby Hamilton. Whatever insanity we get up to, let’s agree to no earrings in our noses.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for hanging in here with me, and all the kudos and comments! You guys are the best!

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thank you for kudos and comments! :D


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